𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

twenty

aaliyah

i leaned back into billie's chest, running my hands through my hair as i did.

"try to stop thinking about it" billie reassured, rubbing her hand over my arm.

things have been so hectic since that party. i haven't spoken to ashanti or tatiana since. i've avoided them in school and blocked tatiana's number.

flashback; two nights ago.

"you what.." i said in disbelief. i looked at billie, who seemed like she didn't know whether to be shocked or pissed.

"i like you liyah. i've liked you for so long that i think i might fucking love you"

i stared at her wide-eyed. i couldn't believe what she was telling me. i never looked at tatiana that way, or even gave her the slightest bit of attention to assume i was down for it. she was always a friend to me.

"tati i-"

"yeah i know, you're with her. why couldn't it be me? i was here for you when she wasn't. what makes her better than me!" tatiana yelled, tears running down her face.

billie lifted her hand from mine to reach over to tatiana.

"tatiana you're drunk, let's just-"

"no! don't you dare fucking touch me. you took her from me. if you had stayed in your place she would be latched on to me, not you"

i looked over at tatiana in disgust. she spoke of me like i was an object that she could own.

"i don't belong to anyone. no one took me away from anyone. i was never yours to begin with"

i went to speak again but i got interrupted by ashanti and analy coming over.

"what's going on- oh god" ashanti said, going over to hold tatiana.

"you told her didn't you?"

tatiana nodded as she clung onto ashanti. "you knew this whole time and didn't tell me?"

ashanti looked up at me sympathetically. "she's like my sister liyah. she told me not to say anything so i didn't".

i scoffed and turned to analy. "did you know too?"

"no, i just found out when ashanti saw you guys arguing. i swear"

i huffed and brought my hand to my head. i was slowly getting sober and all my emotions were flooding my mind at once.

"come on mama, let's just go home"

billie walked with me outside, holding my hand as we pushed through crowds of people.

analy drove home with drew, none of us really wanting to be at that party anymore.

end of flashback

"i don't get how you're not mad" i said to billie, looking up at her.

"oh i was. she was confessing her love for you right in front of me. i was livid. but it wasn't my place to make it all about myself".

"i'm sorry"

billie furrowed her eyebrows and moved some of my hair out of my face. "for what ?"

"for all of that. i'm sorry you had to see it or go through it".

"aaliyah." billie paused, picking me up so i was sitting on her lap instead of laying between her legs.

"nothing is your fault. you didn't ask for that to happen. don't apologize okay?"

i nodded slightly, letting my head fall on her shoulders as i looked out the window.

me and billie had stayed up all night and by the looks of it, the sun was about to come up. billie tapped my thigh, making me look up at her.

"come somewhere with me"

"where?"

"it's not far, just come. we gotta go now though"

i complied and got up, slipping my shoes on and following billie outside. we were currently at my house so i let her drive my car.

once we got in, she pulled off, obviously in a rush for something.

the sky was still dark, the sun creeping up slowly infront of us.

billie eventually pulled into a field. "what are we doing here ?" i asked as we got out the car.

billie came over and grabbed onto my hand as we started walking. "just wait".

i sighed, knowing that no matter how much i begged, she wasn't gonna tell me.

we walked up a trail, towards a small hill.

"close your eyes for me"

i looked at her confused for a second before closing my eyes, letting her guide me. we walked a few steps before i felt her turn my body to face her.

"okay, open them now"

a felt a gush of wind as my eyes fluttered open. billie was looking at me with a smile before gesturing for me to look next to her.

when i turned my head, there was a perfect view of the sun rising. the sky was a bright orange and yellow shade as the sun replaced the dark california skies.

there were no stars in LA, but the sky always managed to look memorizing.

it was so beautiful, i had no words to describe how it made me feel when i saw it.

i pulled billie closer to me and laid my head on her shoulders. she played with my hair as we both watched the sun rise.

"be my girlfriend"

my head shot towards billie, my mouth was slightly dropped open, not believing the words she had just said.

"what ?"

"be my girlfriend" she repeated.

i blinked a few times, trying to collect myself. "are you being serious or-"

"of course i'm being serious. i dont want to wait anymore. i want you to be mine just as much as i'm already yours"

i jumped into her arms, causing her to stumble back a little before wrapping her arms around me.

"i'll take that as a yes ?" she chuckled as she picked me up.

"of course i'll be your girlfriend! what the fuck!"

she smiled and pulled me down to kiss her. i kept her lips on mine, savoring every moment with her so close to me. but i quickly stopped it from going any further.

she pulled me down on the grass with her, placing me between her legs as we watched the rest of the sunrise.

in this very moment, i had no fear in my heart, no hatred, no anxiety, no pain.

just happiness.