AUGUST | Abby Anderson

SIXTEEN

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

                         may 2038

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Owen.

We're going to Santa Barbara, like you wanted. We're going to find the fireflies like you wanted to.
We left Seattle two days ago. in your sailboat. Can't stop thinking about you. I feel sick. My skin itches. Your fuckin dogtag burns around my neck. Can't take it off, gotta keep you close to me. funny I've never been thinking about you as much as I have now that you're dead. things you said and did. always echoing at the back of my mind. I miss you.

Abby is taking care of me. I'm taking care of her. Starting to think Lev is the strongest of us. He's been through hell but he keeps his chin up. He's also scared of the ocean but he's genuinely pulling through better than any of us... Maybe that's a seraphite thing. He said something the other day that has stuck with me. 'Only when weak may I carry my true strength'

I'm not sure I believe in that, but maybe it would do me some good. You'd probably love that. You would love Lev. You basically have the same terrible amazing humor.

I don't sleep very well in the nights. Keep dreaming about you. And mom and dad. Fucked that I'm the last of us isn't it? Just me left now. Never would've thought that, huh? Shit, always sort of thought you'd survive the longest. You've always been better at that stuff. And less reckless.

Wish I would have told you everything. Loads of things I wish I didn't keep from you the way I did. You were a good brother. Actually, you were a great one. Feel like I should've told you more often. I feel kind of ... lost without you. Have Abby and I have Lev, they're family but you were my blood.

I miss you, Owen. I regret a lot of shit but I mostly regret not taking the time to see you more often this passed year. I wanted to be my own person. Wanted to sever myself from your protection but in hindsight that's the dumbest thing I've ever done. like, really.

You would have been a great dad. Wish I could've seen that. She took that from you. We left her alive. Again. I keep thinking back to that moment. I could have killed her. But I'm glad I didn't. Her girlfriend is pregnant. I hope they get the life you should've had with Mel. I feel like you would have done the same thing. I keep thinking that. What would owen do... I'm gonna be happy. For you. We're gonna find the fireflies and we're gonna be happy. For you.
I promise.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───