Fight for Me

Chapter 79

A couple of weeks passed since Lydia's stepsister had visited the flat, ruining the delicate balance in their lives. Lydia, with the help of her supportive flat mates and her therapist, had not made another attempt like the one she had that night. Instead, they had decided upon trying laser scar removal in hopes that it would at least fade the scar so Lydia wouldn't feel as trapped.

She had also stayed in contact with Lily, deciding to test whether or not trying to reconcile with her mother would help her move on. There were days where she didn't have the emotional energy to even text Lily, but her stepsister seemed to understand and allowed her the space when she needed it.

All the while, Sherlock tried to be there for Lydia whenever she needed it, even making attempts to ignore a case to help her out. This often failed, though, as he would still be working out the crime in his head, which would lead to an upset Lydia and a guilty Sherlock. But they were working through it and they enjoyed each other's company far too much for their relationship to remain strained for long.

Even the days were Lydia would get frustrated with him, they would often be found passionately kissing one another within an hour of their argument. Still, it never went much further than that. Lydia wanted it to, but she would never admit that for fear of pressuring Sherlock into something he wasn't ready for. And Sherlock wanted it as well, but he felt unprepared and feared making a mistake.

But it was getting worse the longer they were together. Sherlock found his thoughts constantly traveling to the shape of her lips, how they glistened in the light after she ran her tongue across them. To the curves of her body and how they easily melded to Sherlock's own. To her neck, soft and white, begging to be marred by his touch in the way that released such beautiful sounds from her throat.

Just thinking about it made his body ache for her, which was extremely inconvenient at times. Thankfully the wool coat he wore, despite the warmer temperatures of summer, would conceal the physical expressions of Sherlock's newly discovered lust. It would go away eventually, of course, but the growing frequency of his desire was making it harder to stay focused on his work and he wondered if it would help to finally give in.

So he consulted the internet, having little clue what he was supposed to do in the bedroom. He understood the premise of course, but it had to be more than the basic motions with Lydia. He wanted to make her feel the way no man ever had, but with his lack of experience it seemed more likely he would just disappoint her.

There was more on the internet than he had first considered and he found himself getting lost in pages of tips, lists of positions, warnings of what not to do. It didn't take long for him to become a bit overwhelmed, especially considering advice was constantly being contradicted by other sources.

That meant Sherlock had to turn to the only source he had left in hopes that he could find some clarification. He waited until Lydia was off at an audition so that they could talk without getting interrupted, or worse, being overheard by the woman he was trying very hard not to get embarrassed in front of.

"John, you would say that you're quite knowledgeable when it comes to sex, wouldn't you?" Sherlock asked, placing down his book a few minutes after Lydia had left.

The unexpected question made John choke on his morning cup of tea. Quickly recovering, he managed to get out, "er, sorry, what?"

"Sex, John," Sherlock repeated, a bit annoyed by how bright red his friend's face had turned. Why was he uncomfortable with this, he didn't seem uncomfortable when proudly announcing his dates or shuffle in shame when he returned from one after having clearly gotten laid.

"I don't think I understand."

"Oh for god's sake. You've slept with more women than I assume is normal, surely you know something."

"But why would you want to know?"

"I think that is quite obvious given that I have a romantic partner and have never actually had sex before."

The fact that Sherlock was a virgin didn't come as a shock to John, he had suspected as much, but Sherlock's easy admission to not knowing everything there was to know about a certain topic left John's mouth hanging open. Not to mention Sherlock's inference that he wanted to have sex with Lydia. John saw how much he cared for her, of course, it was just he never pictured Sherlock wanting to be intimate in that way.

"If you are just going to sit there and stare at me like an idiot who cannot add two and two together, then perhaps you are not the best person to come to with this. But I figured with your experience, you would be just a bit more helpful," Sherlock spat, getting quite worked up at this point. He had helped his friend a number of times, but it seemed John was unwilling to return the favor.

Realising that Sherlock was getting annoyed by how long it was taking him to process everything, John quickly replied, "no, no, I'll, er, I'll try to help. Erm, what exactly do you want to know?"

Sherlock paused for a moment, trying to figure how to best formulate his questions. It appeared that John was still a bit uncomfortable with the conversation so he figured he would have to be a bit more delicate in delivery.

"I suppose my biggest inquiry is what exactly I should do so that she enjoys it the most. I've done quite a bit of research, but it was only made it more confusing as sites contradict one another."

John coughed, "well, I am not entirely sure what Lydia's preferences are in the bedroom. But I would say the most important thing would be just to pay attention to her. You can try things and then gauge whether or not she likes it. And don't worry about things being perfect, because they won't be and I'm sure she knows that. Just explore what is comfortable for both her and yourself to find out what works best."

"And if I can't tell whether she likes something or not?"

"You're bloody Sherlock Holmes and you don't think you'll be able to tell whether or not you're pleasing your girlfriend?"

Sherlock shifted in his seat, unsure if he should confess his weakness to his friend, but eventually decided there was no reason to hide it. "The thing about Lydia is, I can't always read her. It was a bit of a problem for me even when we first met, it was what first made me so intrigued. But it hasn't gotten much better, even with discovering who she really is."

"Then I would recommend being honest with her beforehand, explain that you've never done this before and request that she be very clear with her boundaries and whether or not she enjoys what you're doing or not. She should be understanding and I'd imagine she wants you to enjoy yourself as much as she wants to enjoy herself."

"But have you found anything that the women you've slept with particularly enjoy?"

John was saved from having to answer by Sherlock's phone going off, causing the doctor to breathe a sigh of relief. He was happy for his friend, of course, Sherlock really did need to get laid. But having a discussion about sex with him felt uncomfortably bizarre. Not to mention the woman he wanted to shank was one of John's friends when he was younger. He didn't want to think of her in that manner, especially since he now felt like she was a sister to him.

"That was Geoff, we have a case," Sherlock announced as he slipped his mobile back in his pocket.

John leapt up from his arm chair in relief, but realised he had one last thing to say before hopefully Sherlock would let this topic drop. So he turned to his friend, "er, just one request for when you do decide to take your relationship to the next step. For the love god, please do it when I'm out of the flat. And keep it to the bedroom, I really don't want to start having to sanitise everything out here because of paranoia."

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(A/N): Oh boy, will they actually do the tango? Also is today the day I'm supposed to update? Honestly I have no idea and time is a mere illusion so I suppose I can never be on schedule or off. I hope you enjoyed this rather awkward chapter!