Scars//Zuko x OC// A:TLA

Sifu Toph

listen to daddy issues with the first part of this chapter p l e a s e 

"Again!" Zuko shouted at me, blasting a fireball my direction. 

I swooped my arms toward the ground, making a small shield of fire which soaked up Zuko's immediately, then parted it and sent two fire blasts back to him. We repeated this process, adding one every time until one of us slipped up (one of us usually being me), this time around I was bringing up a massive shield, then returning ten fire blasts to Zuko. 

"You've improved a lot in the past couple days, I think you'll be ready to train with Toph tomorrow." I immediately put out the fires and jumped up and down at Zuko's statement. 

"Yay! I can't wait!!" Without thinking, I ran towards him and pulled him into a big hug. 

He seemed taken aback but returned it eventually, rubbing his thumb on the small of my back. 

Over the past couple days, I'd started putting an effort into being nice to Zuko in attempt to be his friend. I think he noticed how unusually nice I had been to him, but didn't say anything about it. 

I puled away from the hug, keeping my hand on his shoulder, "do you wanna go on a walk to cool down before lunch?" I asked. He smiled softly and nodded at me before putting his shirt and shoes back on while I put on the loose fire nation top the gaang had lying around that I had to wear now since I ripped up my old shirt. 

We started walking down the path that led to the water, shoulders brushing every now and then. 

"You seem to have made more of an effort to befriend me than any of the others, why is that?" He eventually spoke as we walked alongside the creek. 

"I'm not sure, I guess.. I just relate to you the most. We both showed up at the same time, even though you've known them longer than I have, we were still new. you were the closest to an outsider in the group, and we both fire bend. Plus the whole trauma buddies thing, but that's a different thing, I guess." I answered honestly, but obviously leaving out the whole I might be repressing intense love at first sight and you make me feel more in one look than I have in my entire life part. 

"That makes sense. I guess, I've been doing the same thing, you're the only one who didn't know me back when I was.. different." He admitted, and I suddenly felt the desire to pry. 

"What were you like, you know, before you joined the Gaang?" I asked carefully, trying to make my tone and body language calm and inviting. 

He stopped suddenly, hanging his head down before looking at me with a look I could only interpret as a want, no, a need for someone to understand and listen. I walked to the water and sat down on the damp soil, letting my legs fall into the flowing creek. I pat the soil next to me, looking at him with a comforting smile. 

He sat down next to me and looked out at the water for a while, a million things probably running through that pretty head of his. 

"I was.. so confused, Ezna. I didn't know what was right or wrong, I was cast away by the only parent I had left and I just wanted him back. I wanted someone back, I lost everything and I felt scared and tired and worthless. I hated myself, thought there was something wrong with me.. and I thought that if I proved myself by finally gaining back what I lost, maybe I'd feel comfortable in my own skin again, and maybe I'd heal from the emotional scars, not just the physical ones. I was so horrible, I was angry at myself, I was so angry for speaking out of turn, I thought it was my fault that my father mutilated my face and threw me away from my home in search for someone who at the time, was only a myth. I was just so angry and scared and I.. I was so horrible. I burned down villages, I hurt people, I hurt families, I hurt my crew, everyone who was there for me.. and my uncle, the only person besides my mother to be eternally patient and kind with me, I hurt them all in order to chase after the last hope for the world. I was so selfish, and I'm so scared that I'll never be able to forgive myself for everything I did, because I don't deserve forgiveness, but I want it so badly. I feel like I'm being selfish all over again, going on a journey for forgiveness instead of honor this time, and I'm always scared that I'll become blind and selfish and horrible again because I can't get over what I did. I want forgiveness, I need it, but I don't expect or deserve it. Ezna, who would forgive me? I'm a monster." At this point he was digging his fingers into the palm of his hand and failing to hold back tears.