A Chance

Eight

    School was canceled this week so i had an uneventful day today. I wanted to be productive since this last week i've been in bed crying. I cleaned some of my room up and took a shower and wanted to feel pretty and applied light makeup.

I did my hair with my hair dryer brush. I put a green crop top and some baggy jeans on. I was on my phone watching youtube. Then i watched like three movies and was in the middle of  the perks of being a wallflower when the doorbell rang. I sighed and got up to answer it as i was coming down the stairs it rang again i groaned as i was annoyed at whoever was ringing the doorbell.

I unlocked the door and swung it open, my mistake. My stomach dropped. I slammed the door shut but before i could he put his foot in front of the door. "What!" i yelled at him. "Can you please talk to me Ivy." Kyle said pleading.
"No" "You can't ignore me forever" " yes i can douchebag" " you're gonna act like we never did anything at Jennas party, we didn't go clubbing and you didn't cry in front of me?" He said "Yes Kyle, that's exactly what i'm gonna do because." i smiled. "So you dint care about us." "No, stop right there we were never anything and we just hung out a few times." I slammed the door shut. I went to go upstairs and i heard a knock at the back door. I froze scared there was a robber. I turned to face the glass door to see Kyle. "Fucks sake" i groaned. " What do you want jesus!" " Let's talk please" "about what" "everything give me a chance." I thought about it and  agreed. " So do tell me" "I'm sorry that i started dating Bella she i really like you Ivy like a lot." "Kyle" "Please Ivy i give me a chance."

I sighed and i look up at him. He looks at me with begging eyes. "Okay"

         So are you my boyfriend now? " If you say yes then yes." I smiled and said yes. Let's go out he suggested. Okay. We got in his car and drove to get sushi and drove to the lake. I begged him to play lana del rey and he did. We sat on the grass eating and enjoying the view. He stared at me and i peered to him "yes mr schieble" " oh nothing you just look beautiful today." I laughed and rolled my eyes. I went to put the blanket in the back seat when he pushed me inside and started to kiss me.

He sucked on my neck leaving marks. I moaned at this and we kept making out. We did other things of course but not sex because i don't want to or i'm not ready. We went to the front and drove back to my house. He dropped me off and he left. I went in my house and i went to sleep.

The next morning i woke up and i checked my snapchat flashback. It was pictures and videos of Katie. I watched them and started to cry. I went to look at our text messages and i began to think, "I did this if i hadn't stopped talk to her she'd be fine, she wouldn't be sad." I cried and cried i felt so numb after crying and i felt as if my parents didn't care about me anymore. I started to pinch myself until i made marks. I got a text from Kyle

Kyle❤️
Hey let's hangout
Ivy
Yeah what time
Kyle
Right now lol
Ivy
Okay see ya
read

I changed my outfit to jeans and a white graphic crop top with a puffer jacket since it was colder than yesterday. I heard his car outside my house. I ran down the stairs and he was waiting in the car. "Hey" i said while kissing him. "Hi" he replied smiling. "Where are we headed?" "My house" "Your house?" I said in a confused tone. "Well yeah we could watch movies or something and order pizza." Okay i said.

On the way there we got into an argument. "Ivy you're choosing to be upset about something i don't remember." "I am upset Kyle!" "Because your choosing to be." "Shut up." I yelled at him. "I'm sad because my fucking sister just took her own life and i feel as if i have no one!" I screamed at his face. "Ivy you're upset at me for no reason." "Stop the car" I said calmly. "What why" "stop the car right now" he did as i said and i opened the door to the wind blowing in my face. "Ivy get back inside it's cold out there." I ignored him and walked home. He didint bother calling or texting me so i sat in my bed crying. It was late and i couldn't fall asleep and i have the worst headache ever.

I ended up pulling an all nighter not being able to sleep. I haven't talked to Paris in a few days and Kyle hasn't texted me. Later that day it was around 3:00pm and no sign of Kyle and i felt hopeless. I'm the problem, I caused our fight.

I've been in bed all day and i had no energy and i felt nauseous when i got up. Food didn't not sound appetizing at all. My parents still haven't came home but they send me money everyday still. My mom checks in like every two days but it's simple and when i answer she doesn't care beyond "i'm okay and i'm safe"