Why Am I Here? - Sapnap/ Dream x OC

Voice Like Honey

I wake up in a sweat, panicked. I look around my colorfully decorated room hoping I'm not still dreaming. I pinch myself just to make sure I'm not still trapped in my own head. I reach out to find a patch of loose skin on my thigh and press it in between my thumb and index fingers.

"Ouch..." I breathe, as I sigh of relief. The first big breath since I shake out of my dreams, if you can even call them that.

I've been having nightmares lately, and by lately I mean for the past year. My roommate, and bestfriend, Bailey says I should see a physiatrist.

"The only way to really figure yourself out is to see what your dreams mean, Rian. Your dreams are directly linked to your subconscious and maybe if you knew what was going on in your head you could overcome it," she had said to me a few weeks ago while we randevoued in our shared kitchen.

I know she's right, but I hate the idea of talking to a stranger about what's going on in my head, it feels wrong. Well not wrong, but just odd. Foreign. Besides, I could never burden anyone with my thoughts.

*Ding*

I go to pick up my phone from over on my nightstand littered with old, plastic water bottles. As I reach over, an empty water bottle falls to the floor. I ignore it and look at my phone."GeorgeNotFound is LIVE!"  It's a Twitch notification. As I'm about to open it, Bailey busts through my door yelling, "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE AWAKE??? IT'S NOT EVEN NINE O'CLOCK YET!"

I groan and rub my eyes. "You're hilarious."

"I know," she laughs and rolls her eyes. Bailey has such a beautiful laugh, honestly everything about her is beautiful. She has the most beautiful dark brown hair that sways perfectly as she walks. Her eyes are like the deep, royal blue depths of the ocean with flecks of gold as if it were the light reflecting off the water. Her body is even more perfect, enough to make any stranger stare at her as she walks in the room. All on top of that she has the best personality you could ever think of. She's always been so kind to me, and really cares about me even when I'm cold and distant. She's honestly a really great friend.

I wish I could say the same about myself, I'm nowhere near as perfect as she is. I swear, even when I look my best, I still couldn't compare to Bailey. I don't really mind though, I don't like attention anyways. She thrives off it.

"We need to get you out of bed missy," she says as she walks over to my windows and opens the blinds. The serenity in the darkness of my room is replaced with the mid-day light flooding through my windows.

I shield my eyes from the nearly blind-able light and hiss as if I were a vampire, "It's too bright, I'm going to burn."

She shakes her head and says, "We're going to get food. Put on some real pants and meet me downstairs in twenty minutes or I'll come up here and kick your ass out of bed."

She leaves my room before I even get a chance to retaliate against her threat. I look down at the candy cane boxers I wear to sleep. How dare she insult my pants like that.

I put on my grey sweats with these cute little blue butterflies on them, and throw on my blank dark green hoodie over the black tank top I had been wearing for three days. I go into the bathroom and redo my messy bun that sits atop my head. I put on a layer of mascara and look into the mirror.

Maybe this will be good.

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I leave the peacefulness of my dorm and meet Bailey downstairs in the busy dorm lobby.

"Hmmm," she says looking me up and down, making sure I look presentable enough for her liking.