Marvel imagines pt.4

You're my comfort 🌿 Bucky (request)

Song: Ariana Grande - safety net.

Imagine; Bucky is bipolar and has undiagnosed autism. You see the signs and you comfort him every time he needs it.

•••

You noticed the second you walked into the compound, that Bucky was a little off. Not in a bad way in particular, just.. different from the others.

Like for instance when he wouldn't be able to find something, normal people can get frustrated but he takes it to a whole different level.

Or he would stay in his room for days to no end, wanting nothing more than to be left alone.

And he is so sensitive to loud noises or bright lights, many people talking to each other would frustrate him just the same way as not being able to find something.

One evening though, something changed. He suddenly stood in your room, avoiding eye contact but wanting you to be of some comfort to him.

'Buck?' You ask, he doesn't respond, doesn't look up and doesn't even seem to heat you properly.

You slide out of bed, unsure wether or not to touch him. But as soon as your hand touches his arm, he wraps you up in a tight hug.

'Do You want to talk?' You ask softly, you can feel him nod against you, so you guide him to sit on your bed.

His hands anxiously fiddle with the black sheets. He's clearly nervous.

'Y/n... I... I have... I have bipolar disorder...'

'I know...' you answer and he looks up into your eyes for a moment. He fails to hold eye contact though, his autism kicking in. 'My mother had it actually...'

'And I have something else too... autism...' he admits. 'Undiagnosed but... I..'

'Hey... if you say that it's true then I believe you, it's not uncommon... and it's not nee territory for me Bucky... just know that I'll always help you when you need help... you can always come to me... okay?' You ask. He nods.

From then on he would always comes to you, your calm and overall happy demeanour makes him calm, he copies you in that. The episodes last less long with you helping him.

He starts falling in love with you slowly, and that's when you notice his condition getting worse again. The mood swings are off the chards. And even though you should know better, his words hurt you sometimes.

And Tony commenting about him isn't helping either. His ugly words hurt Bucky in a way that makes him relapse every time.

'Tony could you stop?' You speak up against him saying yet another dirty sentence to Bucky. Again calling him names and making fun of him.

'Why would i Princess?' He smirks.

'Because it obviously worsens his mood... Tony can't you see that calling him names and making fun of him, hurts him?' You reply as Bucky storms off yet again.

'He's a grown man he can defend his own...'

'After what Hydra did to him he has changed Tony, Steve says it too, even though he's getting more comfortable with us, you can't go around doing this...'

'What do you mean with changed?'

'Tony...' you sigh as you stand up. 'He has bipolar disorder and autism, and you're making it worse...'

'Okay so why doesn't he just say so?'

'Don't you know how hard it is to even comprehend it himself?, he doesn't have to tell you about that to prevent you from hurting him, you could also just stop on your own you know...' You scoff before following Bucky.

You knock on your own door, knowing that he's in there. He's waiting for you to calm him down again. You push open the door and see him sitting on the bed.

You move over and sit yourself down on the bed. Your hands make it up to his face and you tilt it up. 'He didn't mean it... he doesn't know...'

He groans and tried to move away but you stop him, for the first time you stop him.

'What's wrong... You're holding something back...'

'It doesn't matter y/n!'

'Yes it Does...' you reply calmly.

'NO IT DOESN'T!' He angrily and roughly pushes you away from him.

He can see your eyes glossing over but he can't place the emotion that belongs to it. He has never been trained to do so properly.

'Buck...' you sigh.

He calms down a little, should he tell you? And risk getting rejected?

'Something is bothering you...and I want to help... you were doing so well...' you sniff.

He looks at you, the cold glare showing you that he doesn't know how to handle it still.

'I.. I love you...' he speaks before he thinks, it just.. he'll out.

'You.. You what?' You ask wiping your tears.

'I fell in love with you.. and it frustrates me...'

'I'm so proud of you...' Your reply comes as a surprise to him, he hadn't expected it. 'Bucky.. I... love you too... and I'm so proud of you for telling me...' You smile at him.

'Can I?' You ask and he nods, not sure what you're implying but he trusts you.

You wrap your arms around him. Nuzzling against his chest, he kisses your head. 'You're my comfort...' he whispers. 

'You're mine...'

A/n: I am sorry if this is bad, I know about bipolar disorder and autism but it's really hard to describe it since most of that happens in the head. But I hope I did okay and didn't offend anybody..