花吐き病 「xicheng」

6🌷

JC pov

"Ok, then today starts our first day of trying to help you!"

"Maybe Lan Zhan won't do much but I will!"

Wei Wuxian today was too annoying, asking me too many questions, and making me have conversations with Lan Wangji. I don't want to do that, why did I even tell them, I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't have any other choice and besides that, if I didn't tell anyone I would probably die. I did say that I was okay with dying but deep down I wasn't okay with that, I didn't want to die, I wanted to live. How could I just leave everyone alone? I haven't done half of the things I've had planned. Jin ling already lost both of his parents how will he feel if I die? his uncle, his only blood-related person left... he would be sad I think, even if he hates me I would also feel sad. Even if I don't like to admit it I love my family deeply, I still can't get over the fact that half of them are dead, even remembering of them makes me cry, it has passed so many years and I'm still crying, even my so-called brother that died doesn't cry as much as me.

"Jiang Cheng, since you aren't answering any of my questions I will show you some drawings of people that you know and you will tell me what you feel when seeing each of them"

"You are getting quite good in trying to find this mysterious person huh"

"Well yeah of course I'm a genius"

It fascinates me how he has drawings of everyone, I hope he didn't draw them because then he would be stupid, drawing people who once wanted him dead forever.. But ok, the past is in the past, let's focus on the present now. I am not feeling comfortable at all In doing this, If I feel attracted to any of these people Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji will discover the person and not only me, it will be extremely annoying but as I said if they didn't know what was happening to me my problem would be worse, therefore I should be thankful. Imagine me having to make conversations and try to make someone like me.. disgusting, that would never go right.

"So I'll be starting now ok?"

"Ok but wait, I don't want to be in the same room as.. him."

"Who? Lan Wangji? But I thought you were friends"

"I don't make friends anymore"

With that said I dragged Wei Wuxian to a place with no one around, I only trust Wei Wuxian in telling something like this, I don't trust Lan Wangji because there still is a chance for me to like some annoying Lan, and if I like any Lan person then Lan Wangji will probably kill me.

Out of JC's pov

Poor guy doesn't know that Lan Wangji is a great person and was willing to help him, but we shouldn't be angry at him, I also wouldn't trust someone with who you've barely had a conversation.

I think that today we are dealing with a new kind of love, a love altered in Jiang Cheng's head for him to not like anyone, since young he was so afraid of relationships, he never dared to like anyone in his entire life, he almost liked that wen girl but... when he discovered that she was a wen all his love went away immediately and turned into a gigantic storm of hatred.

Enough of love life he always said to himself, well that was what he thought would happen. Ever since Wei Wuxian came back to life he eventually got in contact with Lan Xichen, a simple but cool guy, always smiling... but Jiang Cheng knew that behind that smile he felt all sorts of different feelings such as fault, sadness and many more. He had lost two very important people in his life, two people who made him happy, people who he had trusted his life with... people who secretly hated each other and eventually killed one another. Lan Xichen surely wasn't living an easy life, his biggest problem right now was that he didn't know how to stop thinking about them, he didn't know how to stop wanting them to be alive and happy, he just wanted things to be different, but that would never happen and he needs to realize it.