Who We Once Were - A Jolivia Story

Chapter 7

He was looking at her with those kind eyes he always used to smile at her with but he was singing her a song about his deep love for the girl he practically replaced her with. The whole situation just felt like a huge slap in the face from universe. Her face had fallen when he started singing and she once again got sucked into her own head but this time it is was a bright flash that snapped her out of it. She was acting, he was acting, they were professionals doing a job and she planned on doing that job well. So she did her very best to mirror that expression of pure adoration on his face even while she felt her heart cracking a little bit more as each second passed.  

"Perfect guys, amazing job!" She heard a faint voice calling out in the background but she wasn't really paying any attention to it. She knew he was just doing his job but the way Josh was looking at her now felt all too familiar for her liking. It reminded her of simpler times when she let herself hope and dream about maybe one day being with him. Simpler days and hours upon hours spent with the boy she called her best friend. It just didn't make sense for her, how they could go from that deep connection to being practically nothing at all. She didn't understand how he was just so okay and unaffected while for the past couple months, her entire life had been caving in around her. Her face remained painted with a permanent smile but her mind was running a million miles an hour while her stomach was plummeting and her heart felt like it was trying to beat out of her chest. She barely registered that he had even stopped singing when he put his guitar down. 

"Liv, is that okay?" Josh questioned sounding cautious.

"Sorry what?" She replied focusing on the scene in front of her.

"Tim just asked if we could do a couple different shots and positions before we wrap up?"

"Oh ya, yes of course." She scrambled out.

"Great, let's get a couple of you two on the couch with the fire on please, and maybe a couple of you unwrapping gifts?" Tim suggested and the two of them nodded. The two made their way to the couch and she could pretty much feel the tension between them like it was a physical wall. 

"Josh if you could just put an arm around her and Olivia just like lean into a bit, you both look good we just want it to be a little more natural." Called Tim and she inwardly cursed. Josh looked at her with a question in his eyes, always the gentleman, and waited until she nodded to throw an arm over her shoulder and pull her into him. It felt just as nice as she remembered which is what hurt the most, this was the only time this was ever going to happen between them again, only as Ricky and Nini, no longer as Joshy and Livvy. So as much as she knew it would only serve to hurt her and as much as she knew she shouldn't, she let herself savour that moment one last time. The comfort, the homeliness, the familiarity, the love, even if it was all just an act to him. 

The rest of the shoot went pretty smoothly and without any major issues. They moved onto the group shots with the rest of the cast and Olivia was just trying to focus on the matters at hand. 

Get through the shoots, do your job.

She repeated in her head over and over while the bright camera flashes went off again and again. After another hour, she had finished everything she needed to get done for the day and was dismissed to go home. It was only around 2 pm in the afternoon, an early day seeing as it was their first day back and they hadn't actually done any season 2 scene work yet. She shot a quick text to her mom so she could get a ride home, said goodbye to a couple of her friends and made her way back to her trailer to pack up her things and cool down. 

She was fine, she was doing okay, she was holding herself together. As she walked through the trailer door and locked it behind her, she found her resolve from the entire day that she'd been working so hard to maintain had began to crumble. That painted smile fell from her face, and she lowered herself down to the floor, leaning against the back of the door. The silent tears pooled in her eyes and dripped down her pale pink cheeks. She was not fine, she was not doing okay, she was not holding herself together. 

The entire day's events and the feelings she tried to hold back from her friends all day had just piled up and spilled out all at once. She tried to convince herself otherwise but she was hurting, badly. She told herself, no she promised herself that she wasn't going to let this whole thing with Josh affect her work but she could barely get through an hour of promo photos with him. Basically, she was screwed. 

She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and picked herself up off the floor. Her phone went off with a text just about then, she expected it to be her mom telling her she was here. She wasn't expecting it to be from Josh, even less so she was not expecting it to read what it did. Just two simple words and yet, the last thing she was expecting. 

Joshy ❤️ : I'm sorry.

A/N - Sorry this chapter was a bit shorter than usual, got a bit busy today but thank you all so much for the increasing support on this story! As always please vote and comment!!! I love reading all your comments so much so please let me know what you think! ILY all :)