Who We Once Were - A Jolivia Story

Chapter 16

He parked in his spot and they hopped out of either side of the car. Olivia had texted her mom with an update on their way over to which she responded with a thumbs up and an "are you okay?" text. Her mom didn't exactly know everything that went down between her and Josh but she did know that he hurt her, badly, and that they weren't friends anymore. She responded with a couple words of confirmation to put her worrying mother at rest but she knew her mom was going to want to talk about it more when they got home.

She followed closely behind him in silence as he led the way up to his apartment. She still knew the route to his old place off by heart but he'd obviously moved and found a new place when they returned from quarantine. Maybe she would've known that, maybe she would've even been here before if they still spoke at that point but that just wasn't how it was. 

The elevator ride up to the 15th floor was probably the worst part of it for her. Not speaking while they walked through halls and passed other people, that felt normal enough. Being confined alone together in a small metal box for a minute that seemed much too long to her, that felt anything but. As the silver doors opened, he led her down the brown, carpeted hallway and to the last door on the left side, apartment number 1509, she noted. He opened the door and she followed him inside, taking in the space in front of her. 

"Hey are you cool with In-N-Out?" He asked breaking her from her slight daze. 

"Sorry?" She questioned not really catching what he had said. 

"In-N-Out? For dinner?" He asked as he scrolled through his phone. "I was just gonna order some food on door dash. Is that cool?" He said holding it up to show her.

"Ya sounds good. Could you just get me a veg-"

"Veggie burger?" He said, finishing her sentence. She gave him a small nod. "With the amount of times we used to get dinner there, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget your order." He spoke with a small smile and she let out a small huff of agreement, or maybe it was laughter, she couldn't really tell. 

"Can I use your restroom?" She asked quietly after shrugging off her jacket and placing it by the door. 

"Ya sure, down the hall on the left." He gestured to a hallway in front of her but not tearing his eyes from his phone. She followed his directions and heard him yell, "Food will be here in 20!" from behind her as she approached the door. She let herself in, locked the door and sat on the cold, marble floor. Coming here was a bad decision, she had only realized that too late. It was one thing to get a ride home with Josh but how was she supposed to spend at least 20 minutes with him without either snapping or completely breaking down. She took a deep breath, flushed the toilet and ran the tap for a few seconds so as not to seem weird, before unlocking the door and heading out into the white hallway. 

Across from her was another door, she knew it was stupid but she was too tired and too tempted to stop herself. She did a quick look down from where she came to see him sitting on the couch with the TV on and she turned back to the door. She poked her head inside the room and her suspicions were confirmed, it was his room. Messy room, unmade bed, music sheets everywhere, it reminded her of the old Josh, her Josh. She noticed the pictures plastered all over his walls. There were some like the ones that were in his trailer and some newer ones. She didn't know what she was expecting to find, well hoping at least, maybe a couple pictures of her, pictures of them, but not a single one was on his walls. The pictures of him and Sabrina didn't go unnoticed though, her pressed into his side, a kiss on his cheek, a selfie in his car. They were everywhere. 

She felt the all too familiar feeling of tears pooling up in her eyes. She knew it wasn't right to invade his privacy, she shouldn't have looked into his room. She knew she shouldn't have been surprised to find what she did, they weren't friends, and she knew him and Sabrina were whatever they were. She knew something so small shouldn't have made her so upset, she knew had no right to be upset. Yet none of those facts stopped the hurting in her heart or the tears now falling freely down her cheeks. She walked back down the hall, trying to wipe away the tears and compose herself as she did. Taking a deep breath, she entered the main room and went to take a seat on the couch as far away from him as she could.

"Hey you can change the channel if you want I was just-" he froze finally looking up from his phone to meet her eyes. His brow furrowed in what was most likely confusion or surprise. "Olivia are you okay?" He questioned leaning a bit closer to her. She shook her head a little and took a shaky breath. 

"I-I'm fine." She said as calmly as she could muster.

"Liv what's wrong?" He asked in a soft voice, almost a whisper, and that was what finally broke her. She was sobbing, eyes too blurred and mind to askew to even bother to think about Josh and his reaction. She felt his hand on her then and immediately stood up and backed away. 

"What did I ever do? What did I ever do so wrong to make you hate me so much?" She exclaimed loudly, not quite yelling but raising her voice more so than she had in a long time. 

"I don't hate -" He started as he began walking towards her but she quickly cut him off, shaking her head and holding out her hands in front of her.

"No! Stop, please just stop. I've spent so long trying to figure out what I did wrong, trying to make sense of it all. I just- " She was cut off abruptly by the shrill ringing of her phone, she pulled it out to see Ethan's contact appear on the screen. Everything was crashing down all at once, it was too overwhelming for her to deal with. Both their eyes were on the phone as she quickly pressed decline and then looked up to see him in front of her. "I can't do this." She said making her way to the door, grabbing her coat and fleeing down the building's hallway. She ignored the loud calls of her name coming from behind her as she ran down a flight of stairs. The sound got quiet as she reached the door for the 14th floor which she pulled open and then made her way to the elevator, ordering an Uber on her phone.

Ten minutes later, Olivia sat in the back of a black Honda Civic calling her mom to tell her she was on her way home and would ask the security guard to let her into the lobby while she waited for her to get there with the keys.

Ten minutes later, a delivery man knocked on the door of apartment 1509, dropping a bag with two burgers, two orders of fries and two strawberry milkshakes outside the door.

Ten minutes later, the act of being perfectly fine that Olivia had worked so hard to construct had finally come crashing down. 

A/N - A little bit of confrontation for you guys but be warned there will be more and it will be more angsty :) I know many of you were worried about Sabrina being at the apartment but I'm not that cruel, ok I am that cruel but that doesn't work with my overarching storyline, you'll see what I mean hahaha. Hopefully this chapter still did your expectations justice though! As always comments and votes are greatly appreciated!!! Also we hit 2k reads last night so thank you all so much ILYYY!!!!