Who We Once Were - A Jolivia Story

Chapter 10

Olivia was stepping out of her trailer after finishing all her scenes and packing up all her stuff for the third time this week and yet it still felt odd to be back, good but odd. She dropped her bag down by her feet and took a seat on her trailer steps, pulling out her phone to scroll through instagram while she waited. She didn't have more than a couple scenes with Josh earlier today and for that she was forever grateful. She had been stressing out all day for their big talk and having to see his face 24/7 today definitely would not have helped with that. He had one more scene that he was finishing up with Sofia and Matt and then he was supposed to meet her in front of their trailers to finally talk. She'd been on her phone, sitting in the cool evening air for about 10 minutes before she heard the gravel crunch in front of her and she looked up to see Josh jogging up in the direction of their trailers. 

"Hey, um - you ready to talk?" He asked standing in front of her shifting his weight nervously. 

"Uh ya, ya sure." She said shoving her phone into her back pocket, swinging her bag onto her shoulder and stumbling to her feet. "Let's go?"

"Ya, my trailer?" He asked gesturing with his hand behind him. 

"Sure." She agreed with a nod of her head and she began following him to the door. He jogged up his trailer steps, pulled open the door and stood to the side gesturing his arm in while he held it open for her. She said a small "thanks," as she walked into his space and looked around. She hadn't really been paying much attention to the space on Monday during their brief interaction here but now that she had the time, she looked around and noticed the changes he'd made. He still had the pictures of his family pinned to his wall but now there were some new ones of him and his sisters from his sister's wedding last December. His desk area that used to always be so unorganized with random sheets of music and lyrics left everywhere, was now tidied up nice and neatly.

"Should we sit?" He asked quietly behind her, making her jump a little as she'd been in her own world looking around. 

"Uh, ya sure." She said as she grabbed a seat on that same chair from so long ago and he took the couch opposite her. The silence in between them was tense and awkward for a long couple seconds before they both spoke.

"I thought-" she said looking up from the ground.

"So about th-" while he said simultaneously.

"Sorry um, go ahead." She said with an awkward smile-like expression on her face.

"Alright well, I just um - well about the text I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He said clasping his hands together anxiously. 

"Uh okay well thanks I guess, but what for?" She said itching to know what it was exactly he was apologizing for. Ghosting her? Replacing her? Maybe he had some kind of explanation after all. Josh was fidgeting with his hands and quiet for a minute before he responded looking up at her.

"For whatever I did Liv." He spoke and her breath was caught in her throat, he didn't even know what he was apologizing for. "Because before you say nothing, I clearly did something to you and for whatever that was I'm sorry, I'm genuinely sorry. We work together and we're both professionals so I think we just kind of owe it to each other and our cast and crew to get along. So if there's anything I can do to fix whatever I did, to makeup for it, please just uh - let me know." He finished with a hopeful kind of smile. Olivia could feel the tears that had been pooling in her eyes and she was willing herself not to let them fall. 

Josh didn't even know he did anything wrong and technically speaking maybe he hadn't. Maybe she was being too overdramatic and this was all in her head. Maybe they weren't as close as she thought and maybe he just didn't want to be her friend anymore and ignoring her was his way of letting her down easy. Whatever it was though, the way he felt now had just been very clear to her. He wanted to clear the air between them because they were professionals and they were doing a job, he clearly couldn't care less about her or their friendship, well rather, former friendship. Whatever had been happening between them, whatever she thought had been happening between them, that was all over now for good. 

"Uh ya, - professional, ya I - uh I agree." She said looking everywhere but him while her voice cracked. "Sounds uh - sounds good." She said looking at the ground and scrambling to her feet getting ready to leave as fast as she can. 

"Olivia-" Josh said standing up and trying to look her in the eyes.

"Um, my mom she's waiting for me in the parking lot so I should really get going and-" She spoke fast and nervously trying to get herself out of there as soon as possible. He gently grabbed her wrist behind her as she was trying to leave, and she immediately pulled it away like his mere touch burned her. As she turned around to face him, she took in a sharp inhale of breath while she looked into his eyes and saw a sort of searching in them.

"Are we okay?" He asked cautiously while he pulled his hand back to his side. 

"Ya, definitely. We're good and uh - I'll see you tomorrow." She said trying her best to force a smile while she could feel her heart taking it's last toll, finally cracking under all the pressure of the couple last months. 

"Okay, ya I'll see you." He said shooting her a small smile. She walked out the trailer door and something about it felt definitive this time, there was a sense of finality there. Olivia opened her car door and slid into the seat next to her mom.

"Hey hun, how was work today?" Her mom said smiling kindly to her. She was silent and took a deep, shaky breath. "Liv?" She questioned with a hint of concern in her voice and the dam finally broke. Olivia started shaking with uncontrollable sobs and her mom wrapped her in her arms and rocked her comfortingly. 

"Josh- I-" She started trying to offer some sort of explanation she barely understood herself but was cut off by another sob.

"I know baby, shh, I know." She whispered pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head.

A/N - Hey guys sorry this chapter was so late, I had a pretty huge project due tonight and had to get that done before writing but here it is, the big confrontation! I'm so sorry for this by the way, I promise it will start to get better eventually! Please let me know what you think in the comments and please vote :) Also Olivia's EP, OMGGGG I'm so excited!!!! Also quick note about last chapter, it takes place the night before this. I do realize that in the chapter before the last paragraph was Olivia in bed that night but just think of that as a mini flash forward so ya.