1 - A Drowned Out Message

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15/12/2020
15:25

I lied.
I was going crazy.
I didn't want to go home.
I sat at the train station for hours, purposefully missing them for you.
I did that around four times before I gave up.
I waited.
I thought you'd be there.
But you were gone.
Nowhere to be seen.
The last day I'd see you in atleast 5 weeks, I wanted a goodbye.
But that never came.
You never came.
I messaged you to ask.
To ask whether you left.
But no answer came of it.
After waiting even more, I deleted it.
Told myself I didn't need you.
But I did.
Not to vent, I had done that unwillingly.
But to see you.
To bid you farewell.
To distract myself from the voices.
The voices telling me all these things I don't want to hear.
They won't stop.
They won't stop unless I'm with you.
The voices in my head.
They told me you were dead.

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