NAVARRO SERIES 1:Caged By The Ruthless

CHAPTER 29

Soccoro Ricks

" It's fun talking you Veron, let's talk next time. Goodbye. "

I'm having a hard time processing what I've heard. It's only few words ten words to be exact, yet my head refused to sink it, like it was invalid combination for a vault reason why it's not opening, reason why I can't digest it. Not when for the first time since we started living in the same flat he uttered other girl's name aside from me, family related or associates especially that there's conflict between us.

Actually this can't be considered as a cheating though because there's nothing between us and that's the most painful part for me as a woman it's clearly conveying me that in reality I don't have right to feel like this, suffering for nothing. He's free and so I am yet I couldn't help it now that my urge to depend on him is getting stronger also the memories we had which seems so real. Or maybe there's nothing really about it and it's only me who's making it a big deal, still can you blame me?

For now I'll try to believe the latter, it's not for being blind but I'm trying to give him a chance to explain it without demands even it's already tainted hoping he would.

The truth is I'm terribly struggling to maintain my composure keeping the smile that I could muster not the satisfying but neither forced, I'm acting like I'm not affected at all but deep inside if he could only see it, I am hurting my heart is aching for unknown reason, little by little I'm shattering into pieces cause I felt like I was fooled, and all of this is a fucking joke that apparently I'm taking it seriously which supposed I shouldn't.

I admit I'm jealous.

If you'll ask me, I won't hesitate to say that I'm doing my very best not to doubt him, jump into conclusions that might perish my impression for him after what he showed me. He's the one who introduced me to the emotions that were strange to me, where in Kyle even failed to show me what are those. I misunderstood them all before and this time I want to know them better. That's one of my reason why I'm holding onto him but expectedly after this, there would be a great changes for sure.

He cleared his throat reason why I jolted back to reality not realizing I just spaced out and looking to the floor like an idiot I wonder how long was it. I blinked several times and when finally I recovered I again smiled suppressing the little thoughts I had behind my head.

The moment I glanced at him, he's already on his usual aura like nothing happened, the shock and tense were gone, he's all smiled but not like minutes ago it's making me feel like I misperceive him.

How I wanted to squawk until my voice become raspy, and complain. Throw him multiple questions, ask him who is she to her and why does he mean by fun. But then the follow up question would be: Does it matter? Who am I to him?

There's a lot of meaning of that word, so I think I'll guess for now. Did they dance while talking over the phone, because absolutely it's fun. Did they had a game? Or did they cracked silly jokes through their talk? It's none of the above though as it's impossible cause I didn't heard anything. Those are lame scenarios and absolutely not his thing.

~How can you be so sure? You even said that it will takes months until you'll finally know him deeply~ my contradicting sub interjected.

How I want to side her yet it will be unfair to him but that doesn't mean that I will let this slide I'm not naive moreover blind for not sensing lies so I'll judge him after he'll give me the clarification until I'll know the real story.