Short Stories [Man on Man]

Not His to Keep [4]

Sean looked into charcoal eyes. He stroked that strong face, running his fingers almost reverently over the rough stubble that covered a sharp jawline. His hands were shaking. Both their chests were heaving in breath after breath. Something had definitely changed between them.

From on top of him, Beau slid out and rolled off, his body hitting the mattress with a creak. Sean could think back to a time when his bed hadn't creaked, when it'd just been a normal bed where he'd slept and had occasionally beat one out. He'd never done anything – or anyone – in this bed, but then he'd met Beau, and it was like they couldn't stay out of the tangled sheets.

“C'mere.” The older man's gravelly voice washed over him, calling to him.

His body felt boneless. Groaning, Sean crawled over to where Beau was lying on his side, head resting on his pillow. He didn't turn his back to the man, though, to get into their regular spooning position. Instead, he put one knee in between Beau's legs and pressed their bodies together, legs to legs, chest to chest, flaccid lengths limp against one another.

Beau leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Don't fall asleep, okay?”

He felt so sated right now, there was no way he'd be able to stay up much longer, especially in his man's arms. “I gotta go to sleep sometime.”

“Not yet.”

The older man ran those hands over his face, tracing the outline of his cheekbones, his nose, eyes, his lips. Sean took the offered thumb into his mouth and sucked, smoothing his tongue over the salty skin. Above him, Beau groaned and closed his eyes.

“What are you doing to me, Sean?”

It was just a whisper, a shaky, uncertain whisper. He looked into Beau's eyes once again and saw that the man was afraid, his eyes watering. The sight made something inside Sean break. He didn't ever want to see Beau sad or scared or anything besides happy and full of pleasure.

He kissed Beau lightly on the lips. “I don't know. You tell me.”

For a long, long moment, they were both quiet. He couldn't tear his eyes off Beau. His eyes began to sting from being so tired. He closed his eyes for just a second, but then opened them just in time to see a single tear slide down Beau's face.

“Sean.”

He woke up with a gasp, sweat dripping down his face and neck. It was getting worse. The dreams were getting more vivid. It felt like Beau was right next to him. The more he saw the man; the more that face, that body, and all that happened between them filled his mind.

With trembling fingers, Sean reached to the side of his bed, expecting to feel Beau. He came up empty. It made him want to cry. He saw Beau everyday. Their offices were fifty feet apart, and no matter how hard he tried to avoid – not hide from – the man, it was like they were just destined to see each other at least twenty times a day.

Beau had only been practicing health law for about half a year now – after going for another degree – which was why he was on Sean's floor. Today, Sean realized as he got out of bed and stepped into the shower, was exactly two weeks of having Beau at the firm. Two weeks of pure torture.

He'd tried going to a gay bar last night. It was just his usual place, and there were a few guys he'd been interested in, but it was like a half-way interest that was discarded as soon as he thought about the other man. Five years. It'd been five fucking years. If anything, he'd gotten worse. All this repressed – Anger? Hurt? Lust? - whatever it was had him going insane.