the heartless [e.c]

11 | infirmary

I HAD MY knees brought to my chest with my arms crossed and head down. I was in the dorms now , on my bed. There weren't many people in here. Most were still in that room , waiting for their turn.

I shivered thinking about the room where we were to face our worst fears. Each initiate was injected with a serum that made us live through our worst fears , every one of them. Four called it our 'fear landscape' and each landscape wouldn't change until our heartbeat and breathing slowed to a normal pace. Or we could choose to face our fear.

I had nine fears. I was in my fear landscape for thirty minutes , but it felt like eternity.

Four said I did well. I didn't feel as if I did well. Ashley was out of the room in less than ten minutes , she only had six fears. I only know because she bragged loudly about it once I entered the dorm. I'm guessing she could sense my disappointment in my performance.

She seemed to handle facing her fears better than most. Harmony has been crying in her pillow for a while now and Oliver is staring blank at a wall , occasionally slapping something only he can see away from him. It was frustrating to see her do well , this must've been what she felt like during the physical part of initiation.

I get up from my position on my bed. I needed to do something to get out of my head , I walk towards the dorm doors and am almost there when I feel the ground disappear beneath me.

My face hits the ground first causing my vision to go blurry. I roll over on my back and sit up , placing my hand to my forehead and bringing it back down with blood on my fingertips. I stare at the red liquid , ignoring the muffled laughs coming from all around me.

A hand is waving in my face and it takes a second for my eyes to peel away from my hand to see it's Harmony. Her eyes are puffy and she's mouthing something. When I don't respond , she helps me up and out the door.

•

HARMONY WALKS WITH her arm linked with mine. When I come back from my daze I finally speak , "What happened ?"

"Ashley tripped you ," she says. "You fell and hit your head. I'm taking you to the nurse."

I nod , stopping when my head begins to hurt. "I can get to the infirmary myself. No need to play nice just because Ashley isn't around."

Harmony laughs , "I'm not playing nice , and Ashley doesn't control me if that's what your implying."

"Then why did you stop being my friend ?" I ask.

"I ... I thought you were going to knock me down ," She admits. "Ashley said that we could throw your off if we stopped talking to you , and maybe then we could get a higher rank than you."

"Oliver wants to become a leader and I want to do what Four does ," she continues. "Ashley convinced us we'd get those jobs for sure if you were at the bottom."

I stop walking , unable to comprehend what I was hearing. "I think I can make it to the infirmary by myself from here."

"Stevie , wait !" I hear Harmony yell as I walk away.

•

I SOMEHOW FOUND my way to the infirmary without getting lost. A nurse had me sitting on a bed in a room sectioned off by curtains. He did a quick check up before leaving to retrieve some sort of healing medicine.

He applied the oil like substance to my wound , "It should heal up pretty quick. Only come back if you began to feel dizzy or nauseous again."

"Thank you ," I say while pushing the curtains back to leave the room. I walk out without checking my surroundings and end up bumping into something , or someone.

"Eric ! I'm sorry I didn't see you ," I apologize immediately. He was holding a bloodied rag against his knuckles , I stared down at them. "Are you okay ?"

Eric laughed , "Just busted up knuckles. What are you doing here ? Are you okay ?"

"Yeah ," I nod. "I just fell and cut my head open. It should be fine in a couple days."

I don't mention Ashley. It doesn't feel appropriate to after the rumors she began. Suddenly I become embarrassed , remembering the last conversation I had with Eric. "I think I better head back now ," I say with my head hung low , but he stops me.

"Stay here ," he says. "I'll be out in a second."

I nod , unable to tell him no. Within two minutes he was back with bandages on his knuckles. "Follow me ," he says.

He doesn't tell me where we're going and I don't ask. I didn't need to , I trusted him. As we walked I began to become familiar with where we were going. It was the same route I took when I needed to come to the infirmary a few weeks ago , although it was the wrong way. Eric was leading me to the roof.

•

IT WAS COLD with the wind blowing through my hair. It had been a few minutes and I still wasn't sure why Eric had brought me up here. Neither one of us had spoken. It was silent , a comfortable silence.

We both sat at the ledge like we did before. I stared straight ahead , looking at the glow of the city. I could see the Erudite library still lit up. Visiting day was in two days. I don't think I'm ready.

"I was always afraid of loosing myself in Dauntless ," Eric says suddenly. His voice was quiet , soft. "I think that's why I was so quick to. People automatically saw me as heartless so that's what I strived to be."

I held my breath as he spoke , afraid the sound of me breathing would cause me to miss a word of what he was saying. "I got the maze tattoo as a reminder not to loose myself again , but I'm not so sure it's working."

"Why's that ?" I ask.

Eric shrugs , "I don't know."

"I don't think you're a bad person , Eric." I turn my body towards him. "Everyone has done wrong in their past , you getting that tattoo proves that you're trying to be better."

"You think so ?" A small smile spreads across his face.

I laugh with a nod , going silent for a second and then speaking up. "Does this mean I'll have to get a tattoo now ?"

The small smile turns into a devilish grin at my words.

•

WORD COUNT : 1107