I'M SO OVER THIS

NOW

I sat at the window seat watching the sun rise. And my exact thought is

"MashaAllah."

I had just finished my subhi prayer and reading a few pages of the glorious Qur'an. And at this point in time all I can feel is peace .

With the sun out, I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Stepped into the bath and had a nice long warm shower. Washed my hair in the process.

Coming out, I wrapped myself in a towel and walked to my closet to pick out my out fit for the day. I picked a long but comfy plain white baggy cardigan and skinny jeans.

After getting dressed, I sit at my dressing table and looked at myself while brushing my hair. I had just dyed it pink, weird color I know but I like to think I look cute.

Since i got married i have had to put on some makeup to hide my black eye and the various bruises on my body. I've been living like this for two years now, maybe less, maybe more.
I don't even know any more.

My marriage to Hanif Ibrahim Dogo has been a nightmare that I would not want to wish it upon my greatest enemy.

I have a degree in Business management and a masters degree economics and finance from Yale and Harvard, and as an only child, I had been groomed right from childhood to takeover the family business.

My family has a vast empire that deals in agriculture, oil and gas, and various automobile and aircraft manufacturing companies, that has been around for more than 62 years and he is viewed and the king of the business world in Africa, after he inherited the business from his father, who in turn inherited it from his father, my great grandfather. And with my father planing his retirement, I thought that it was my turn to take over the rains of the empire.
Only to be called into my father's office to receive the horrible news that I'm getting married to Alhaji Dogo's only son.
The spoilt brat being the only son in the mist of eight girls never wanted to get married to me and trust me the feeling was mutual, but as the elders told me, sabr is key in life.

After getting dressed, I went downstairs to the kitchen. Hanif will be up soon and I need to make sure that his breakfast is ready and the house is spotless.

Chef Franca has already finished making the stereotypical English breakfast which consists of; scrambled eggs, sausages, turkey bacon, toast and coffee. The maids are done with cleaning the eight bedroom mansion.

Although l still don't understand the use of all the extra rooms and all, it just makes me feel small and lonely. I hardly leave the house partly because I'm such an introvert and I also work from home.

As I entered the kitchen, I was greeted by the maids and Franca. They are the only people I talk to, apart from calling my parents and my best friend Marwa, that pretty much sums my social circle. Sad isn't it?

Having nothing to do all day, I spend my days working, reading books because I am such a book worm, watching movies, swimming in the pool behind my house, gardening because I love plants and yoga.

Sitting down at the kitchen Franca smiled and handed me a cup of green tea, then served me some food. I love me some turkey bacon. As I started eating Hanif comes in and sits down . The staff all greeted him and left immediately after Franca served him his breakfast.

"Morning." I said timidly

"Morning to you too." He said

Lately he is unable to look at my face.

"How did you sleep?" I asked getting slightly courageous

He lifts his head and stares at me like I've suddenly grown an extra head of something.

"I'm sorry." He says

"For what exactly?" I asked, puzzled.

"For everything, for hurting you in every way possible, I know sorry won't fix anything, but I really am sorry. I'm so sorry for making you live with a serial drug addict and alcoholic, for ever rising a hand on you, for every hurtful thing I've ever said to you. I'm so sorry. And I'm not asking for your forgiveness, I know that I'm a monster. I'm so sorry for not being the husband you and I know you deserve."

I was so speechless. What ? Am I dreaming?

He gets up from his sit and kneels in front of me. He took my hand and says: please Dany.

He asked me to please stay with him.

"But I never said I'm going anywhere."

"Still, please stay with me, promise you won't leave me please."

"But..."

"Just promise me!"

"Alright I promise."

There !

That was when I truly saw him, he looked like a broken little child and after all he made me go through, the sleepless nights, the crying, the bruises, But if he is willing to seek for help, then I'll also help him in any way that I can.

"But if I'm going to stay there has to be some major changes."

"Anything."

Firmly but simply I said " you are going to rehab'