I'M SO OVER THIS

REMEMBERING

HANIF'S POV

Seven months, that's how long my rehabilitation process took.
Seven months of Medical supervision – particularly when  the severe withdrawal symptoms kicked in due to the fact that I was a major junky. I was also in a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation. Prescription and management of required medications was done. Dual diagnosis care – where health professionals simultaneously care for any coexisting medical or mental health conditions. Individual, group and family therapy. 12-step support groups. Relapse prevention education.

It was a long process but I'm done, I feel so alive, more than ever and I know that I won't be falling back into that messy  ordeal ever again.

Daniiya  never left me, she was with me through everything, even when I use to come home drunk and I'd vomiting the contents of my stomach all over the floor after beating the hell out of her, she never left.

Our marriage wasn't exactly what you'd call love at first sight.
Her father was planning  to expand his empire, and since he was best of friends with my own father who is also a business mogul himself, they thought to combine both empires through marriage.

At first I hated her,  I hated the mare sight of her, but I have to admit she is very pretty and her soft long hair that I've never actually seen without hair dye.
When she and I first got married i didn't want to be tied to a woman because I was a ladies man, with the fact that I could have any woman at anytime and she was going to be a major c*ck block for me, so I thought she'd run back to her father if I was horrible to her and the marriage will be made non existent. But alas, for the past two years, when ever I got home late, she was there waiting for me, when ever I'd throw up and mess up the place she'd clean both the spot i vomited on and me up and make sure non  of the house  staff knew what happened the previous night. When ever I'd rise my hands to hit her, she would take it quietly till I pass out, then she would help me to my room. The thing is since the marriage knot was tied, I've never touched her (sexually).

I remember the days she would go back home only to be sent back, her parents even made a rule that if she wasn't coming to visit and leave the gates shouldn't be opened for her.
I also remember how she would apply so much make up in order to hide her bruises from our staff and friends, well my friends, I think she only has one friend but I can't be so sure because I don't know her that well.

I have been  a terrible person and I've got no excuse for what I've done to her but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.

During my rehabilitation, she and I got to know each other quite well.
And I made a promise to her and myself never to treat her badly in anyway.

I thought she would leave me after we came back home but she didn't, instead she was with me every step of the way, and you should see how happy she always is when ever I make progress with my deen and our relationship.

I just don't know what I have done to to deserve such a kind hearted person in my life.
And even though Dua isn't a hijabi, I am proud call her my wife, and who knows maybe one day she will InshaAllah start wearing a hijab.