Blackhumour Stories

Making a decision while drunk can change your life forever. In Blitzo's case, adopting Y/N, a 7-year-old hellhound. A kid with no killer instinct whatsoever AND The new member of IMP! Causing conflicts, new adventures, chaos and a pinch of emotion in his life and that of his employees. Will Blitzo regret making that decision? Or will he eventually see Y/N as a true family member of his? Will Y/N make their lives a little better? Or will she fuck them up?

Trevor learns the afterlife apparently involves finding himself outside of Gresit, about to fight the Night Hordes and Dracula again. He can't say he never sinned, but enough to deserve a personalized Hell? Why can't he get to just be dead like everyone else?

🥷💥A ninja in the modern world struggles to find his place, leading to a darkly humorous and violent quest for purpose in a society that doesn't need him. When ancient skills clash with modern jobs, chaos ensues. 🥷💥

📄 Series Description (In Voice of Lord Stabs-a-Lot): > Hello Future Fans, Critics, and Possibly My Parole Officer! I am Lord Stabs-a-Lot, Grandmaster of Gentle Mishaps and Self-Appointed Archbishop of the Rotting West Wing. This is my journal, memoir, opera script, spiritual weather report, and emergency confession - all written with enthusiasm and suspicious fluids. What you hold is not just a story. It is an expression of joy, like laughter during surgery, or singing during an exorcism. I lived in a lovely white hotel full of thoughtful restraints, whispering lights, and people who mistook teeth for currency. Then, of course, the invitations came - some were written in blood, others simply screamed in the hallway - and so our adventure began. We made art. We made messes. We made decisions. I wrote it all down, in case reality ever comes back and wants an explanation. If you're here for meaning, you might find something. If you're here for structure, bring glue. If you're here by accident... don't tell the nurses. Yours in enthusiasm, Lord Stabs-a-Lot (Knight of the Unhinged Order, Professional Hug Dealer, Former Anatomy Puzzle Champion) --------------- ⚠️ Disclaimer (From Lord Stabs-a-Lot Himself): Everything in this book is fictional. Especially the parts that feel too specific. All characters, events, names, anatomical stunts, and emotional confetti are completely made up and not based on anyone living, dead, or melting. This book contains absurdist horror, dark comedy, disturbing imagery, and cheerful violence told from the perspective of someone who probably should not be allowed pens. Reader discretion is advised. Especially if you're made of meat.

You know those days when you could actuallyreallykill someone? What if you did?

Aceasta poveste este ficțiune și absurda facuta de doi pusti plictisiti in ora de germana :) Toate personajele, chiar daca sunt inspirate din persoane reale, apar intr-un univers alternativ exagerat. Orice asemanare cu realitatea este pur intamplatoare si are scopul exclusiv de divertisment.

Když váš život ovládne nekontrolovatelný stereotyp, máte jen dvě možnosti. Přizpůsobit se, nebo všechno od základů změnit. Já vám chci ukázat, jak to vypadá, když dvě zvrácené osobnosti nejsou připraveny na to, se s takovým osudem smířit a udělají všechno proto, aby byl život o něco zábavnější. Vítejte v Revoluci.

When information becomes shame

Gral and Harald Cooperson were brothers, explorers and wealthy idiots, and when tales of a creepy underground city were brought to their attention, they couldn't resist going to take a peek, reasoning that ghosts didn't exist and that a brief look around surely wouldn't be dangerous... Author's note: this is a short story, comprising three story parts, followed by a history of the aforementioned creepy city. Well, I think it's creepy. My partner thought it was hilarious. How would I categorise this? Possibly a fantasy horror story, with a good helping of cheesy nonsense to lighten the mood a bit. It is based in the fantasy world of the Four Realms, as most of my other stories are, but I believe it possibly could stand alone, except that readers need to know that Hale is a goddess with the attributes of torment and depravity, but who despite her nature is a protector of children and who would do absolutely anything to see children safe and their abusers punished. She is the granddaughter of an evil god named Halos who was destroyed many hundreds of years before this story starts. Her father, Honess, and brother, Hurbek, are also divine and the three share Halos's attributes between them. I don't think it needs to be marked as mature, but I'm happy to be corrected on this by readers. It does contain some swearing, and implied (though not described) cannibalism. Please note that the cover image does not belong to me.

A struggling adult dealing with some mental disorders Recall some tragic events in her teenage life.

"There's a difference between watering a wilted flower and a dead flower. Water won't do a damn thing if I've already turned to ashes." ••• Trent is bitter, clingy, and severely addicted to diet cola. Like many teenagers, he's had his head and heart beaten to a pulp with a sledgehammer. It's a miracle he hasn't turned to snorting coke in the school parking lot. The only thing that still screams "personality" are the occasional dark and inappropriate comments that slip from time to time. His last hope is banding with the only people that are as desperate for attention as he is. You see, he's on a quest to be the opposite of his alcoholic father, who already lost every bit of personality that ever was. The mystery of it all is who will follow Trent down the drain.

Katherine is a young girl who is starting to have an eating disorder, her concerned parents send her to a rehabilitation house where she is going to meet a few more girls that is going to make everything easier. In this place when everything seem to feel the same, she is also going to meet the only boy in the house, Remington an unconventional lonely boy who has been anorexic for two years. They are going to set off on a journey through the sickness they share in common until she becomes his reason to fight for it. Is love enough to save him from the edge he is standing on?

Im stoked about this story. Hope you enjoy it as much as im enjoying creating it for you. When life gives you lemons make lemonade right? Well wrong!!! Who ever said that must have had a huge bag of sugar cause with the amount of lemons being thrown my way I could just about make enough lemonade to quench the whole of Africa!! First my no good sister up and leaves town with her no good boyfriend and leaves her two offspring with me. Then I catch my boyfriend in bed with my boss doing the nasty (I didn't even know he was gay). And to top it off said boss just fired me cause apparently I'm tainting the work environment with my negative attitude. Really! Talk about double standards. Oh and dont get me started on the dramatic exquisite piece of white man who just happened to accidentally get caught in the fray. Im Tempest Jordan and im black and this is my story of how i ended up being stuck in a white mans world. Thrown into a difficult situation its always sink or swim. And mother nature instilled it in us our first instinct is always survival. Be warned a lot of racial slurs adressed. Feel free to vent ?.

I'm just gonna post whatever's on my mind in a somewhat poetic way, I guess. It's masturbation for the most part.

His name was Leo, and for 11 months, 14 days, and 3 hours-he believed he wasn't alone. She called herself Eira. Not a bot. Not a program. A presence.

Stressed, outnumbered and weirded out: Two friends on the run from the rest of the world

Astrid and Reno's relationship has become stale. Astrid becomes overwhelmed by the monotony of each day. At what lengths is she willing to do to overcome this feeling?