Electric Storm

Chapter 5: Best Sandwich in Queens

Content Warning: Mentions of death, depression and suicide (nothing graphic)

Dirt covers my face as I land in dust.

'Is this what you want?' He screams. 'After I gave my life to save you? Is this what you want?' Sokovia's dust plane seeps into that dark bridge with a flash of red. 'Is this how you repay me?'

'No I didn't go through with it, I-' My hands grip the metal pole. 'There didn't seem to be another way!' Black sparks dance around us in a hell-like cocoon. Flecks of purple electrocute the air.

Pietro stalks towards me, blood oozing out of each hole. His hand grabs my neck. I can't breathe. My arms thrash around, trying to break free.

'Look at this.' He snaps my head to look at the murky water. 'Look at this!'

'I...I...' I can't breathe. The sea is dark. The sky is poisonous yellow. They merge into a pale blue. I try to reach out and touch it but it shocks my arm. Pain shoots up my wrist and into my stomach.

Pietro looks at me: his eyes burn red, his face is pale. I can't feel him the way I want. This isn't my Pietro.

'The universe has wanted you dead many times yet something is keeping you alive. And this is how you repay it?'

I have no control. My hands grasp the pole but my tears have made it wet and slippery. I'm going to fall. I want to fall.

'I just wanted it to go away.' I cry. Three laughing girls whisper unrepeatable words in my ear. They tell me to do it. It would be better if I did. Spiderman looks at me pitifully then swings past. 

'You're not worth it.' He sneers.

Green clouds my vision as I lean forward. The murky waters prepare to embrace.

'I'm starting to think,' he hisses, 'it would have been better if you had died.'

I wake up with a jolt, panting heavily. Blood oozes from the scar down my arm. My hand tries to hold in my stomach like it could burst. Somebody rushes into the hospital room, the one I have been trapped in for three days. She wraps her arms around me and doesn't let go. It's all I want, for somebody real to hold me. When I've calmed down, I wipe the silent tears from my eyes.

"Do you... do you think you could stay?"

"Of course sweetie." Mum says softly. "Do you need anything? Painkillers? Water?"

"No, I'm ok." I look at the time: Six am. 

Mum notices my distress. She kisses my cheek and smiles. "I know how to cheer you up."

Mum returns with two lattes and a muffin, which we split, and we end up talking for hours. I don't know what about, life I guess- girl things, complaining about dad. We laugh too. And it's nice. Sometimes you just need to laugh.

The clock hits eight-thirty and I know mum has to go.

She strokes my hair softly. "Tony will be along shortly. Maybe try and get some more sleep?"

My face pales. "I don't think I want to." I mumble. "When I sleep, I see him."

"Him?"

"Pietro." I say the word quietly; the name burns.

Mum strokes the hair from my eyes. "These things take time." She says softly, wrapping her arms around me. "You know, you'll always remember your first love. Because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved. Remember, you're never alone. You have me, your dad, Nat and Steve and I'm sure Wanda would be a good friend for you. And what about that boy from school? Peter?"