Electric Storm

Chapter 23: Lockdown Diaries- What Baking Can Do

My eyes scan the letter again and again and again but the words don't change. I glance up at dad and back at the letter and then at dad again. 

'This is-'

'A load of shit? Yeah.'

I read the letter again. 'It basically says they want to keep me locked away and controlled forever!' I shake the paper angrily. 'This is... this is...' I slam the letter down on the table and start taking deep breaths. I am freaking out. 

'You should have gone with Steve.'

My eyes snap up. 'What?' 

'That's what you wanted, right?' Dad looks straight at me.

My face falls. 'Is that really what you think?'

Dad doesn't say anything and instead stares at the ground. I watch as he sighs again. He looks like he's trying not to cry but why? 

And then I realise something that's taken nearly three months to realise. He really thought all this time I wanted to leave with Steve. Of course he did, I chose Cap's team. I didn't choose dad. 

I slide up onto the desk next to him. 'Dad, I was always coming back. I needed to help Bucky but I was always returning to you. You're my dad, I'm not going to leave you.' 

Dad slowly meets my eyes. 'You weren't going with Steve? I thought-'

'That I wasn't going to sign? That I'd run away instead? That was never my intention. Cap needed me and Bucky... Bucky saved my life-'

'He killed your grandparents, my parents!' Dad angrily slams his fist down. 

'Dad, without forgiveness, we are nothing.' 

'Yeah, well, forgiveness and understanding are two very different things.' Dad mutters. 

'I know. But I understood Bucky didn't hurt those people, the Winter Soldier did. Sometimes you have to have faith in people. I knew Bucky didn't blow up the UN, that's why I had to help him.'

'Do you believe you did the right thing?' Dad raises his eyebrows.

I take a moment to contemplate. 'I wasn't sure for a while - I didn't know if it was all worth it -  but when I see this letter, and I think about the CIA wanting to lock me up because of who I am anyway, then yes, I believe I did the right thing.' I speak earnestly, it's the truth. 'But no matter what happened, even if they put me in the raft, I would have come back. Because I need you dad, I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet. And I know you believe you did the right thing too so we're just going to have to disagree for a while...'

Dad looks up at me, teary-eyed. 'I'm so sorry Katy.'

'I'm sorry too.' Suddenly I'm crying as well. I hug dad tightly and he hugs me. 

'This isn't what I wanted for you. I had everything planned out and this-' Dad picks up the letter, '-ruins everything.'

Dad reads it again. I want to tell him not to, it won't change anything and we already know what it says: 

I'm not to compromise an already delicate situation and, as such, must adhere to the following rules: The rules set out in the Sokovia Accords and the rules conditional of my 'release'.  But we both know the truth. It's clear in the long plan detailing how, when, and why I can use my powers, where and who I can work for, what I can and cannot do, and even in the conditions of my 'public reveal' that these plans where in place long before the accords were written. To sum up a long article, I am a display. I am to do whatever is required of me. I have no free will. I am the government's property.