Electric Storm

Chapter 11: Three Generations

I wake up a few hours later on the helicarrier. The team is silent. The last time it was this quiet was after Wanda manipulated everyone's minds during Ultron.

There's a low pain across the front of my head, the skin swollen around my eye. It's tender to touch. I imagine that it's black and blue, perhaps a bit of purple smushed in. Ironically, bruises have the same colours as my powers. I wonder if it can stay there for a while.

I can still taste the ash on my tongue, feel the dust clinging to my suit. There's a tear where Rumlow's knife sliced my leg. Blood crusts around the tissue, the red raggedness similar to the cut I used to have on my arm. I trace the line with my finger. The scar should heal soon.

'Hey,' Steve whispers, taking the seat next to me, 'are you ok?'

'Yeah, I'll be fine.' My voice sounds hoarse. I must have inhaled more smoke than I thought.

'Happy's prepared a plane for you when we get back. Will you be ok flying it alone?'

'I think so. I'll keep it on autopilot for most of the flight anyway.'

Steve nods. 'We'll miss you this summer.'

'Thanks. I'll miss you all too.'

I wish I could stay with the team whilst we heal. I don't want to leave Wanda alone, but dad's waiting for me, and so is a dozen countries and states. In just a few days I'll be sipping fruit smoothies on a private beach. The taste of Summer in the air. 

It's a quick turn around so I don't have a chance to say goodbye properly. Wanda goes straight to her room, still devastated by the events, Nat and Steve debrief, and Sam polishes his suit. I thank Happy and slip away in my carrier quietly.

I debate whether to text Peter and say I'm ok. My fingers type the message but I never click send. I don't know why. 

I let SUNDAY takes control, lean back in my chair and eat the cheese sandwich Happy left me. I'm thankful for the simple meal. I was starving. 

I think the team expected me to fall apart after the incident. I didn't. I've already broken down once, I'm not about to fall again. I need to stay positive for Wanda and the team. I need to keep myself motivated and optimistic. It is hard. There wasn't many good points from the mission. UltimateIy, we failed. I know it's my fault. I know what I did wrong, trust me I know. And I feel terribly guilty. But I've felt like this before. I know what happens when I crash. So I know I mustn't slump. If I did, would I be able to climb out? I have to keep smiling and I have to keep going no matter how hard it is. Yes, my first mission back was a disaster, but that's how some go. There'll be more missions to come.

I swallow my guilt and bury it deep inside. 

...

I ty to blend in with the flow of students by keeping my sunglasses down, my visitor badge in my pocket and, of course, a coffee in my hand. It's so different being in a uni as supposed to school. There isn't cliques in the same way, no backstabbers. Everyone is here because they want to be. Those waiting for dad's lecture are as passionate about science as me. I've always known I'd come here one day. This is where I'm meant to end up. 

The hundreds of students here means no one questions a person they don't recognise. Plus, the lecture theatre will be dark and all the attention will be on the famous Stark. I get away with being here because I'm so good at hiding. No one has properly looked at me once.

Which is why it's always so special when Peter looks at me. Because he really sees me.

Should I text him? To say I'm ok? Maybe afterwards, when I can actually reply.