Got my claws in you

Chapter 13- and the world is dark and uncertain

(Y/N) POV:

It's something deeply rooted inside me that rapidly rises to the surface, has me pushing off the sofa, has me hastily tugging myself out of hands that try hold me, draw me back- head buzzing with an incessant high-pitched buzz that makes my ears twitch, drowning out any other sound as I rush out the living room, pushing past the trembling jitter to them as I slip on the nearest pair of shoes I can find. Eunwoo's I distantly realise later when I'm rushing out the house, heart in my throat, beating viciously and uncontrollably and head swimming with what the letter means. With what danger it poses to my pack if the traffickers know where I live, where my safe space, my nest is. My mind screams with the violation of them knowing where my sanctuary is- destroying the security I'd felt both at home and at work, leaving me to remain on-edge, keyed up and panic coursing wildly through my veins.

I can barely feel the bite of cold as it nips harshly at my face, whips at my body and batters it mercilessly, a small, tiny part of my brain realising that I hadn't grabbed a coat, that warm pyjamas only did their job within the heated cosiness of home but right now there's only one thing in mind. That I have to get away, I have to tell Namjoon and Jimin, that I have to distance myself from my pack to protect them, lead the traffickers, instincts pushing me into motion, snapping out of their dormant state to have adrenaline coursing through me, a nervous thrum that makes me restless, impatient until I reach the station, until I see the two of them.

As I rush, my legs continue to shake and tremble- almost giving out on me, feeling panic flare when I bump into a stranger and their face transforms from shock to worry, hands reaching out to help me up, but the touch is foreign, unwelcomed to my volatile instincts, minds screaming to flee- drowning out the buzz, the small incessant hum as I see their lips move, ask if I'm alright.

The surroundings blur and merge into an indecipherable smear of colours, roughly mixing and all I know is that I need to get to the station, to a place that resembles that last shred of safety and security, the place where I can get help, where I can feel safe within the four walls of the office I was growing accustomed to.

And when I push the doors open to the police station, the assault the countless scents has on my nose has me recoiling, shuddering and fighting the nausea that makes my stomach twist and threaten to upend itself. Trying to fight against the instincts that screech for me to flee, too many predatory scents, too many prey scents, too many humans... too much, it's all too much and yet I push on- distantly knowing that I need to find Namjoon and Jimin, that this has gone on long enough and I can't take anymore.

But they're not there. And I find my stomach plummeting to dark depths when the commanding officer steps up, face open and genuine with sympathy, scent soft and trying to soothe and words placating, trying to calm me down but it doesn't feel right. Feels wrong to tell anyone, feels wrong to share something about the way my personal life, my safety, my pack has been violated.

Tell no-one. Treat anyone and everyone as a suspect. Namjoon's voice comes slithering back to mind, underlined with hard commanding authority belied by the softness of his scent- concerned and worried for me, even as he asked again and again; each time with more and more urgency and need that I let them protect me, that I let them help, take legal action- ears and tails drooping at my incessant shake of head that no they weren't going to ruin my normal life, no I wouldn't let the traffickers threaten my schedule, my normalcy, the life I'd carved for myself.

I wish I had taken it.

I wish I had listened to that deeply-suppressed instinctual need to be taken care of and allowed myself comfort and respite in their strong scents spiked sharp with protective anger and rage, bolstered further by the badges they adorned on their chest and shoulders- an oath to protect, to offer guidance and help. I wish I'd taken the proffered hands, maybe then this wouldn't have happened, maybe then they wouldn't know where I lived, where my pack lived.