Got my claws in you

Chapter 37- aching hearts and parted packs

BINNIE POV:

Just like a horrific ticking of a large ominous clock, the time shifts towards the end of the day at the bakery, minutes slipping by as we move about cleaning and packing up the extras. Just like clockwork that heaviness comes to settle deep within me, unwilling to drag myself back to a place that didn't feel like home. Not truly and wholly anymore. Not without (Y/N). Not when our pack was incomplete. And had a gaping hole, ugly and vicious tearing through the middle.

Not when her scent was a ghost now, a weak faint trail that was slowly losing itself, was slowly fading. Not when a part of the large bed remained empty, where she'd lie there and curl around me. Not when her own room, rich with her anise scent was slowly turning staler. When it seemed abandoned and forgotten. Not when her favourite cup remained untouched and the shared shelves of toiletries in the bathroom weren't scattered and messed around, didn't have her own filtering through ours.

Not when noona wasn't there.

I keep stacking the leftover loaves of bread, watching as they topple, over and over no matter how many times I draw the packaged loaves to restack, restless when they keep falling over, a frustrated growl slipping past tightly pressed lips.

A hand comes to settle on my shoulder, squeezing lightly.

And the voice that follows it is even softer.

"Bin-ah, ready to scent?" voice light and gentle, but also something warm and eager about it.

I turn to face the voice, peering at Jungkookie hyung and failing to dredge up a matching smile to his, unable to pretend again and again that it's okay.

That doing this compensates for that gaping hole that is soft and curvy and just (Y/N) noona's shape.

And then hyung's face shifts, concerned and open and soft.

Sympathy flashing in his large eyes.

His eyes always reminded me of a larger pair of doe-eyes that I was missing, yearning to see. Reminded me of the very pair of eyes that I couldn't see look at me with tenderness and affection.

See them and crumple.

Face falling at the sight of his gentle expression.

"Bin-ah...I'm sorry that this is all I can do." He whispers, drawing me away from the pile of packaged loaves and drawing me away, tugging me out from behind the counters before he's wrapping me up in an embrace.

Solid and firm and warm.

Not like (Y/N) noona's soft smaller frame folding in within mine, wrapping herself up in my arms whilst tugging me to her.

"It's okay hyung...it can't be helped." I whisper against his shoulder even if my voice trembles and wavers.

Even if I have to scrunch my eyes shut to stop the prickling sensation from winning.

Feel him squeeze me tighter.

"It can't be. And it's unfair for your pack. But we're doing our best. For her. And hyungs are doing their best for you all. I promise." Jungkookie hyung says.

Everyone was trying.

And I knew just how hardworking the police officer hyungs were, if Jin hyung and Kookie hyung weren't anything to go by, then (Y/N) noona most certainly was. But it didn't stop that feeling of hopelessness, didn't stop or change the fact that (Y/N) had done this for us.

Separated away from us to protect us.

To stop whatever mess she was caught up in from reaching us.