Got my claws in you

Chapter 85- ghosts of past, demons of present

KOOK POV:

The jolt of pain that shoots through my body is sudden and then it's gone. Lost in heaving breaths and retching, hands trembling against the ground, body trying to expel every last bit out, feeling as if my very organs are twisted and yanked out of my body, feel it slump lifeless and heavy, spine bowed. The taste of bile thick on my tongue, stomach lurching and upending itself over and over.

A hand at my back, briskly rubbing up and down, a body that follows me as I crumple, a voice low in my ears but everything is lost and distorted and ringing, everything's pressing into me, closing in on every angle and side, pressing nearer and nearer. Choking me with its closeness.

"Steady...'s okay Jungkook-ah, hyung's got you." the reassurance falls short, words trembling and uncertain when not once have I ever heard hyung's voice shake like that. Voice wobbling and uneven as if the very centre of his gravity has been wrenched out of place, as if whatever keeps him calm and level, keeps his head above biology and instinct, whatever helps keep the balance has been destroyed.

The taste of bile is thick on my tongue, head swimming as I'm straightened, a hand bracketing my waist, drawing my weight to tilt into his side, hands light... lighter than they've ever been, almost ghosting in their touches but I feel them burn through clothes like brands on my skin. Head spinning under the crushing weight of the scents that press closer, worm their way into my skin, slither their way into my head and makes it throb, a painful pounding and the sour taste thick on my tongue. Throat closing up with a reflexive gag when I breathe in the scents again, feel them choke up my lungs with their taste.

Body pressing back, shrinking smaller and smaller, limbs trying to fold in on themselves, a painful jittering sensation of my legs feeling wobbly and uneven, stumbling steps even as my foot thumps rapidly against the floor, ears stiff and twitching with oversensitivity at the cluster of sounds; at the low breaths, sharp and shaky, the unsteadiness of the voice behind me, hands ghosting—hovering but not quite touching. I can hear the way the air sounds, being cut at by angry quick swats of tails curling and swishing side to side, the drag of something sharp against the upholstery, a hand gripping at it. The wobbling sickening guilt I can smell and taste and hear pouring off with the acrid smell of burnt sugar-caramel taking on a rotting edge over its nuttiness. He reeks of distress.

And the smell alone makes another wave of nausea well up, hand clasping my mouth as I swallow down the bile that surges up my throat, the sour sharpness that makes my eyes sting. That makes my legs kick back, feet dragging against the floor, trying to stumble away from the threat that clings to the air, the violence that burns in their stares, silently flitting—searching out who to hunt, who to attack, who to claw apart.

A dizzying wave of claustrophobia, hands shaking as a body instinctively presses nearer, a softer achier sounds against raw nerves stripped bare.

A quiet rumble of breath, a hoarse imploring "Kook-ah—" fingers reaching out for me and then falling short, curling into themselves when my body trembles. Reaches out for comfort and then falls back when my body flinches, everything's too much, too much, too near, too near, too much, too much—

"Don't. Just—don't." my voice cracks, pleading and desperate. Wobbly.

Weak.

Red-rimmed miserable eyes peer at me, swallows a breath as Tae hyung nods, tail curling and swatting anxiously, angrily but his scent takes on a thick painful edge—something that prickles my lungs as it goes down. That makes me feel sick at knowing I've helped caused it.

Unable to bear the thought of anyone, with their scents and bodies on edge and posturing, to be near me. That the sight of them all—strong powerful predators kickstarts the instinctive biological terror and twists that sensation into one that makes me feel cornered, pressed in, targeted.