12-23-20 2:00 am
I'm Sorry For All My Mistakes
This is not a suicide note just an apology for my existence
some people become depressed and don't know why. They may feel they do not have a "reason" to be depressed—especially if they perceive their life as being "good" or "easy" compared to others.
How do I say the words, 'I'm sorry' when I know that words are not enough? And how can I ask you to forgive me when I know I can't forgive myself?
I have to let you in on a little secret: I'm damaged.
There are times in every girl's life where she has been hurt too many times. So now she doesn't even know how to be loved anymore. This is me. I've been cheated I've been lied to I've been around people who just didn't care about me. I've cried myself to sleep so often, that it almost feels like a normal thing to me. I'm broken. I may not totally admit it now, but I am so broken I physically cannot open myself up to anyone else. I'm too afraid. I won't be able to love you fully until I can really let go and I'm not sure how long that will take. It could be weeks, months, or even years. I'm just so scared to commit because I'm afraid of making all those same mistakes again. I'm sorry that I'm broken. I'm sorry that I'm damaged. I understand if you have to leave me because you can't handle it, but don't worry, I'm used to that. The truth is, right now, I'm scared. I'm terrified. I don't know if my heart and my mind can handle another person leaving me
Why am I so broken
Why am so incorrect
Why am I different
I don't want to be different I don't want to be unique I don't want to be special
people say special is good it'll get you places yeah it'll get you places, places like kicked around on the ground while people record pushed around on the school bus bullied and made fun of every action you do mocked as if you are nothing more than a doll something for them to play with until they get bored until they break you and then throw you away like you're nothing
YOU ARE READING
Random writing 2020
PoetryI don't even know I just like to write instead of expressing my felling so its about to get mad confusing but also not really XOXO ~~ Cam
