Random writing 2020

If anyone needs this

Please Don't Kill Yourself
Song by Clayton Jennings

Please, don't kill yourself
I'm talking to you
And I don't pretend to know everything that you've been through
But if it's shame you feel, just know that I've sinned too
And if it's pain you're feeling
Just know that that's something I went through
I don't know your story, but I know you and me are a lot alike
So let me talk to you for a minute while I've got this mic

I was 18 when I pulled a gun out
At the time it felt like my options had run out
So I put that barrel to my chest, and I pulled the trigger halfway
I tried to muster up the courage to put myself away that day
But halfway with that trigger pulled, I stopped
Tears flooded my eyes and that pistol dropped
And I sat in my room and I sobbed for an hour
On the outside I was fine, on the inside a coward
The noise of my depression had gotten louder and louder
I had planned a way out on a baptism shower of gunpowder

I've been lied to just like you're being lied to now
Other people can't help you, but I might know how
Because I've walked in your shoes and I've been at my lowest
And if you don't know anything, know this
You might tell me you're gonna kill yourself and you're close to this
But God wants to meet you in the middle of your hopelessness
God wants to give you a way out of these feelings of doubt
And the sounds of chaos might be reverberating around you like heavy metal

But confusion isn't from God, it's straight from the devil
And he wants to silence the noise and bring peace to you
And I promise if you just ask him, he'll see you through
You got to this place because you tried fighting your own fight
And where did that get you except contemplating about taking your own life?
And if you got bullied to this point
I'm sorry you went through that
But God wants to take those words
From your attackers and send them back

You don't have to be defined by what people said about you
Let me pick you up if you don't know how to
You're not alone, man, you've got a friend in me
You got better days ahead of you, I just pray you begin to see
Know that everything the devil did to you, he wants you to replay
But everything the devil took from you, God wants to replace
Listen to me right now, you better look me right in the face

You were created for more than to die in this place
Don't do it man, please, don't take your life
Just take my hand we'll make this right
I promise if you do this you'll regret it
You wake up in eternity remember, I said it
And you wished so bad you could just go back
I'm here for you right now, please, just know that
And if you think you're alone in this fight, you've been lied to

That depression came after me and I nearly died too
I thought suicide was the only way and death was meant for me The devil played his music and I sat front row through that symphony I walked through the fire and I felt that heat
But I pushed past the clutter and I stood to my feet
I walked out and I refuse to look back

I took my depression and threw it right back, into that wood stack And that fire must have blazed 50 feet high And now I plan on leaving a legacy to look back on some day when I die And right now I'm telling you to stand up too Deep down inside, you know it's the right thing to do Think about your family, think about you Don't kill yourself, please, don't do it Whatever you're facing God will see you through it I had a fan kill himself and his mom asked if I could come see her She was depressed and asked if I could meet her Two weeks later depression beat her She ran into a telephone pole without a seat belt in a two seater And I wish right now I could crawl through these speakers And somehow convince you not to go the same route she did I wish I could change the fact that you feel defeated I wish I could lock my arms around you and tell the devil to beat it But I can't reach everyone even though I do my best to try Some people believe the lie that it's just best to die And they think it's the simple way out But they're not here to see the way things play out They don't see the hurt they caused, the pain they leave I take this seriously, this isn't a game to me Even thinking about ending your life is living dangerously So please, just listen to my voice, right now you have a choice You can choose life or you can get drowned by the noise Please, don't do it, please, just ask for help If not for your family, do it for yourself