Random writing 2020

Read this when you feel like giving up

Life is hard. It is by far the hardest thing we will ever do. In my experience, there is no way to make it easier.
This letter is for you, the person who wants to end it all. Whether you want to quit your job and give up on your relationship or you feel so hopeless there is no light, remember these things. You Have Purpose. Do you feel your heart beating? Put your hand over your heart. Feel your heart beating. It is beating for a reason. It is keeping you alive because that is what you need to be. You have some amazing purpose in this world, whether you know it or not. You are impacting people every day. When you smiled at that young mom as you left work, you made her whole day a little brighter. When you asked someone how they were doing you made them see that people care. At work, when your boss was frustrated and you stayed calm, you showed them compassion. You are impacting so many people. Try and see this! You are Loved. This can be hard to feel. We have all been there when we feel as though it is us against the world. That everyone is fighting against us. In reality, there are so many people fighting for us. It may not seem like it; perhaps you just went through the worst break up and now you have no one. I promise there is still someone that loves you.Call your mom, dad, relative, anyone. Even your old friends that you haven't talked to in months. There is someone out there that cares and loves you. If no one else does,I DO !! You are Your Worst Enemy When the world seems to be fighting us, we need to take a moment and breathe. Just re focus your view. Realize that the person that is troubling you the most is you. All humans are this way; we critique ourselves in ways no one else would. We tell ourselves things that other people would see as lies. SO JUST STOP STOP TELLING YOURSELF YOU ARE WORTHLESS . STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT LOVED. Instead, tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are so unique.There will never be another person like you, so be the best you can be. It is okay to Fall Apart. But it is not okay to give up. Crying, screaming, and not getting off the couch for a day or two is okay. But you have to move on. You have to force yourself to get up and shower, even if that's all you can do today. Fall apart, but then rebuild yourself into the person you want to be. Make changes that you have been too scared to make in the past. But please, do not ever give up. Life is tough, but you are tough too. Whatever this mountain is you are climbing can't last forever. You will get through this.

"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." — Leonardo da Vinci
When things get hard, when it seems like every decision you make is wrong, like every breath is harder to take and every ounce of you is ready to give up, remember how far you've come. There will be days, a lot of them, that make you question everything about yourself. You will question every decision you made and constantly be second-guessing every little thing you've done. No one prepares you for these days because there is no way to prepare for them, you just have to face them head-on.When you lose sight of who you are or where you are going, remember how far you have come from that place you never thought you'd get out of. Remember all the things you have overcome to get to where you are today, how much you have accomplished since you started. You've Made it This Far. You may not be where you want to be, but you've made it this far. There was a time where I didn't think I would live to be 16; I didn't think I'd see myself graduate school or get my own apartment. Things were that bad at one point. You still have a long way to go, you will have this battle and many more to get over, but you will get over them. Live life from start to finish.
When my grandpa passed away, and I talked to my aunt, she reminded me that he lived his life from start to finish. Regardless of having Parkinson's and the circumstances that came with it, he never lost sight of who he was. There is no shortcut in life; there is no secret path to happiness or success. We all have to overcome difficult situations, and we all have to find who we are. No matter how hard things may get, don't forget about what you have gone through to get to where you are today.Be proud of who you are, of where you are.Be proud of the things you have overcome, and the accomplishments you have had along the way. No matter how close you get to give up, remember how far you have already come.
You've made it this far, don't give up now.

Dear Friend,
I don't know you, but I know something about you. I know you're tired.I know you live with demons, ones that are close and loud.I know how relentless they are in their pursuit of you.I know that you spend your days trying to silence them and your nights trying to hide from them — and the hell they put you through.Most of all, I know how hard you work to hide it all, to pretend you're fine, to paint a convincing smile upon your face, and to act as if all is well with your battered soul.I know that all of this has left you exhausted — that you've numbed yourself and hurt yourself and starved yourself in the hope that their voices will become silent and their fists will be lifted and you can finally breathe again.I know that right now it doesn't seem like that moment will ever comeI know right now you'd rather leave than live And even though I'm not standing in your shoes right now, and even though I don't know you, and even though I have no right at all — I'm asking you to stick around.I'm asking you to stay. To endure your incredibly painful, totally senseless now because I can see your glorious, blindingly beautiful then, if you do. If you stick around, you will reach a spot that the sadness won't let you see right now — you'll reach tomorrow. And that place is filled with possibility. It's a day you've never been to. It's not this terrible day. There, you will not feel exactly what you are feeling right now. You may be stronger, or see things differently, or find a clearing, and life may look a way it hasn't in a long time: It may look like worth staying for. Tomorrow is the place where hope lives, and I want you to give yourself a chance to share space with that hope — to dance with it, to rest in it, to dream within it because you deserve it.
If I can't save myself at least let me save you or someone else it may be too late for me to go back but let me pull you out