Random writing 2020

This is for someone on the edge

I don't mean to cal you out but you need to read this please gothwitch1891

I know you don't want to be stuck in the dark side for too long.
I know you are feeling anxious and mentally exhausted just from thinking how long this will take.
I know it is affecting you not just mentally, but also physically.
I know everyone told you that happiness is a choice and you want to move on faster so you chose happiness.
I know you have consistently made efforts to make yourself better.
I know you tried to heed everyone else's advice to exercise regularly, to eat healthily, to practice self-love, to meet new people, to find new activities and hobbies, to travel...
I know you did all, if not some.
I know you have asked yourself again and again — I am making all these efforts. When can I quickly get out of the dark side? When can I move on? I know you have tried your best to be positive and be appreciative of whatever good things and great people you have right now. I know someone told you time will heal although it may take years. I know someone told you to have hope that better things will come into your way. I know someone told you to treat every misfortune and setbacks as tests and challenges for you to become stronger. I know someone told you to ask yourself "what are these things trying to teach me", instead of "why am I so unlucky to go through all these?"I know someone told you the first thought that you wake up every morning is crucial to form a positive mindset for yourself — I know you want to do that but you can't. I know when that panic attack strikes you again, you felt like all your previous efforts have gone to waste. But it's okay. Don't compare yourself to others. I know you are getting better and better to convince your mind that your life will be better but your heart feels otherwise. Time may never heal you but it's okay. It's okay to cry and feel sad about it even though others have long moved on. Some people take weeks but some people take years. But know that you are making some progress, even if it's just 1 percent. It's better than –1%, better than –10%. Every time you try to climb towards the light, and you fall back, you will find yourself standing back up faster than before. If you are reading this, I pray that you will get a little better every day. You find yourself going up and down, but you are still inching up towards a better self each day, each year.We overestimate what we can do in 1 year, but we underestimate what we can achieve in 10. You may not have someone right beside you who understands what you are going through right now, but perhaps someone far away across the border, like me, do. It is okay to feel sad now and then. It is okay to cry in the toilet/on your bed/in your study room. It is okay to feel vulnerable but you stand back up. Being sad and allowing yourself to cry is the process by which you heal. You may feel yourself landing back to square one after doing so much but your mindset isn't. It has gone through phases and phases of sadness, feeling vulnerable and then getting back up again. That is a sign that you have already moved forward, just that you didn't realize it. Not everyone can go this far. So I am proud of you. ~
Cam.