The Worst PJO Fanfic Ever

A Studio Tour (Snoggletog Special)

(This is a chapter in which I bring you on a quick tour of the studio of the Worst PJO Fanfic Ever. So it's a self insert. Don't like those? Don't read this one. Yeah I don't like Y/Ns either, which is why you're not going to be a Y/N.)

"Hello, reader. Happy Snoggletog!" The author appeared on the screen of the RTTE episode you were watching. "Oh yeah, you gotta come over to Wattpad right now. It's urgent."

"Why? I don't want to miss the newest James Charles x Shrek x Elon Musk fanvideo. It comes out in two milliseconds," you replied.

"It's an order," the author crossed her arms.

You turned off your phone and set it aside, determined not to have the author ruin your splendid day. 

It turned back on. "Get in, you gotta come to Wattpad," the author said in a very annoying Viking fashion.

"How did you get into my lock screen," you demanded, picking up the phone.

The author ignored you. "What a plain background you have. Here's a better one," the author swiped her hand across your screen and it faded into a picture of Shrek and Toothless dancing.

"Hey! Change it back," you yelled.

"Shaddup," said your 90 year old neighbour Tiffany Mon Mononononononpomom.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH," you screamed, stomping your five feet.

"Time's a'wasting, fool, come on," the author grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you into the screen.

She jumped on the tabs button and yanked you into the Wattpad homepage, glaring at the 'Dominantly Yours' in the book recommendations as you made your way past different posters. "Here, jump on the 'read' button," the author pointed to a poster that looked suspiciously like the cover of The Worst PJO Fanfic Ever.

Questioning whatever the author was trying to pull off, you stepped on the button and fell into a dark space. A rainbow coloured spotlight with cupcake sprinkles in it turned on.

"YAY SPRINKLE," you ate half the spotlight.

"Nah, too shiny," the author's voice sighed, aiming it towards the ceiling. The dark room was instantly illuminated. "Ok, reader, move to the left a little," she called down from the ceiling beams. 

"What am I doing here, first of all?" you asked, shifting to the left. 

Shrek swung down from the ceiling and landed on the stage with an epic guitar riff. "Listen up, gorl, you're obviously here because the boss lady recruited you. The reason you're in her studio is because you're going to be starring in one of the chapters."

The stage promptly broke under his feet.

"WHAT," you honked.

"Yasssssss gorl," Chiron galloped towards you. "OMG GORL YAS KWEEN YOU LOOKS FAB," he farted.

"OMG YOU'RE SOO HOT. LET'S TAKE A SELFIE #SASS_SQUAD!!!" Jessica raced out of the wings, wrapping Christmas decorations around your face.

"JESSICA, GO BACK TO THE WINGS, IT'S NOT YOUR TURN YET," the author screamed.

Gaea farted.

"This is a madhouse," you remarked.

"GAEA! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH THE STYLIST!" the author waved her hands madly.

A flock of terrible terrors swooped out of nowhere and bit Gaea on the bum. She ran away, shrieking stupidly.

"Not sorry about the mess," the author made her way down the stairs. "Listen here, Evangel's out celebrating Snoggletog perfectly with her family and fans, so we need a stand-in for the Snoggletog Special Chapter. You my friend, don't look like or act like Evangel at all, because you don't have colour-changing orbs. However, I believe in the saying, 'Be yourself when you're in a crackfic', which is why you're not going to be Evangel. You're going to be EvangelicanopoopooAmericanoLattePumpkinSpice."