fbi- lrh

.18

Evelyn. 

I hate the way things get out of our control. 'Some things are within our power, while others are not,' wrote Epictetus, the Greek Stoic, in a line you'd be justified in dismissing as obvious, if it weren't for the fact that we ignore its ramifications every day, and suffer as a result.

In every situation, there are things we can control and things we can't, and struggling to control the latter is a recipe for anxiety and stress.

Yes- there are a lot of things out of our control.

I bit my lip, signing off on the release of our suspects into federal jail- placing all the paperwork into a folder, and laying them out of my way.

I yawned, stretching my arms above my head. Deciding to take off my suit jacket, I leave it on my seat.

Standing up, I decide to walk down the hall. I observed people working in their various offices, mostly fooling around.

I turned a corner when I felt someone pull me into a side room. I was pushed against a wall, strong hands next to my head.

Luke.

I definitely felt out of control.

"Agent Hemmings," I breathlessly murmured as he smoothed his hands across the wall, effectively making him closer to me.

Luke's navy suit top was tight around his biceps, the tie dangling slightly. His face leaned in close to me- in fact, I was started by how close he was, his lips only inches from mine.

He tilted his head, leaning closely towards me. There was no sign of him stopping the movement, something that dropped my heart to my feet. I closed my eyes as he bumped his nose against my cheek, his lips almost brushing up against mine.

If I moved any closer, they would touch. If I moved any closer. They ghosted mine in a way that made us share the same breath, the same air.

I sighed, swallowing, and tearing my eyes away from his pink, parted lips and back to his eyes.

With a soft whimper escaping my throat, I imagined what would happen if I leaned in- just a little. Just enough to touch his lips to mine.

But I can't. He knew it and I knew it.

I managed to mumble, voicing that opinion, "We can't." I pressed my hand lightly against his chest, not really to push him away but to keep myself in check.

There is only so much self-control to go around. 

He chuckled lowly, "I know I know, you're an agent, I'm an agent."

I nodded, exasperated, and out of breath. Luke didn't move away from me, despite his words.

"We can't do this," I swallowed, holding the edges of his suit with a tight grip.

He closed his eyes with a breathy laugh, turning his head for a moment and then back towards me. Something in his voice was full of desire, full of a tone that I could only pinpoint as lust.

It was clear on his face- the struggle to hold himself back from me. It mirrored mine, replicated the emotion written all over my face.

It was a craving, an unfulfilled desire that I could not fill no matter how hard I tried.

I could right now, but I would rather not.

He opened his eyes back towards me as I noticed him clench and unclench his fists, trying to hold himself back.

"Then you better walk away," He bit his lip, his hands still next to my head. The small smile dropped from his face, a look of tension written all over it.