Stuck in the Middle

Chapter 40

I led my mother away from everyone else. We stood near the side of the freshman dorm building, out of the way of anyone wanting to walk by, but not out of sight of Marc and John, who were watching carefully. The teachers who had tried settling everything grouped together a little ways down the sidewalk from my boyfriends, probably trying to determine if it was safe to leave or not.

"You know those boys?" my mother asked, drawing my attention away from all the people we'd just walked away from.

For the first time since I saw her today, I actually looked at her. She had small bags under her eyes, which she'd attempted to cover with makeup. Her hair wasn't as perfect as it usually was, seeming a bit like it'd been a few too many days without a proper washing and not every strand was pulled into her usual bun, the stray hairs flying around her face in the cold wind. Honestly, she looked like a mess.

"You shouldn't be hanging around them," she continued. "They're dangerous and probably on drugs or something."

I shook my head, trying to stay calm. "That's not true at all." I hated how she jumped to conclusions. Sure, Marc may have pushed her a bit, but she was the one who grabbed John, from what they told me. She was the dangerous one, not them.

"How do you know them?" she asked.

It almost sounded like she was accusing me of something, not that I knew what. If she thought they were in a bad crowd, was she actually worried that I'd gotten caught up with that crowd, too?

But what did I tell her? Obviously, they weren't into the drug scene and neither was I. But if I told her they were my roommates, she'd probably eventually find out we were dating, which would cause her to freak out about living with my boyfriends. On the other hand, I could tell her I was dating them, leaving out the roommate part, and have her freak out over the fact that I was gay - if she didn't already know - or that I have two boyfriends. Either option was not looking good.

"You're dating him, aren't you?" she asked before I could say anything. "That black boy?"

Part of me wanted to relax knowing she knew I wasn't straight. The other part of me wanted to yell at her for calling Marc that. I didn't know if she was racist or not, but I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if she was.

"His name's Marc," I seethed, not needing her to ever call him 'that black boy' again. Whether or not she'd remember his name was a different story, though.

She let out a long sigh. "You're too young to be dating, Spencer. And you definitely shouldn't be with a thug like him."

I'd never been one to raise my voice in anger, especially toward my parents, mostly because I'd never had any real conversations that got my angry before. I didn't want to start yelling now, no matter how much I wanted to scream at her that she had no right to tell me who I should and shouldn't be dating.

Instead, I took a deep breath and clenched my hands into fists. The sharp bits of pain from where my nails dug into my palms kept me grounded. "If you're just going to insult my boyfriend," I said through gritted teeth, "we're done here. You need to leave."

I turned to walk away, but she grabbed my arm to stop me. "Wait, please," she said. There was a hurt look on her face that I'd never seen before. "I've been an awful mother to you and I'm sorry. Come home with me, Spencer. We can transfer you back to your old school, since it's so much closer to home. I'll be a better mother to you."

Thinking of being back at that school had me tearing up a bit, but I kept my emotions in check as best I could. "Do you even know why I needed to transfer?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly. I had to take a step back, out of her reach.

She shook her head. "I know there was a bit of an incident with a fellow student, correct? I don't think I ever got the details. But I'm sure it's all beeen forgotten by now, don't you think?"

I squeezed my fists even tighter. "Why are you suddenly trying to care about me now? Is it because Dad died?"

"Spencer, please, I miss you. The house is too empty."

I took a shaky breath. "Go home, Mom. Without me. I'm not leaving here."

"It's just a school. You can be happy at any school."

I shook my head. "No, I can't," I said sternly. I was done holding back, but instead of yelling, my voice was strangely calm and steady. "I have people here who love me. And I love them. I'm accepted for who I am here. You've never been a real parent to me in my life, so don't start now by taking me away from the only people who have ever cared about me. You already took away Esmeralda. Don't make me leave here, too."

That hurt expression was back on her face. "I care about you."

"No, you don't." I took a deep breath. "If you did, you'd know this is where I want to be. Where I'm the happiest I've ever been. If you cared, you'd actually bother to get to know me."

She took a step toward me. "Spencer, please. You're my baby. Of course I know you."

I crossed my arms over my chest. If she really wanted to do this here, then fine. I was done dealing with her crap. Maybe this would prove to both of us once and for all that she'd never been a real parent.

"Yeah?" I asked. "How old am I?"

She had to think much longer than necessary. "Fifteen?"

"Wrong," I sighed. Just because it seemed to be going exactly as I expected didn't mean I wasn't disappointed. "What am I allergic to?"

Again, she had to think for a while. "Peanuts?"

"Wrong." The correct answer was nothing, thankfully. Not that she knew that. "What's my boyfriend's name?"

It should have been the easiest question to answer, since I just said it, but if she doesn't get it right, it'll just show that she never listens to me, even if she says she cares about getting to know me.

"These are arbutrary questions," she said. "Me not knowing a few random answers won't prove a thing."

"Do you know his name or not?" I snapped. "If you get it right, maybe we can keep talking. If not, then we're done. I just said his name. It's not that hard."

She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter what his name is because you shouldn't be dating him. He's a dangerous thug and I have to take you out of this school."

Without even trying to argue anymore, I turned and walked away. Marc and John were still standing where I had left them, watching me protectively. I loved them, so much. I loved that they cared enough about me to stand up to my mother. I loved that they loved each other, too (although Marc has yet to admit it out loud, but John and I knew the truth). And I loved that I got to spend every day with them. I didn't know what I was going to do if I didn't have them in my life anymore.

When I reached them, I threw my arms around Marc. He hugged me back tightly. I never wanted to let him go.

"Whatever you said to her," John said quietly, "I think it worked. She just left."

I felt my body relax into Marc. She probably wasn't going to give up yet, but at least, for today, I had won. It was the first time I'd ever stood up to her. I couldn't have done it if I didn't have Marc and John on my side.

"I love you," I said. It was the first time I had ever actually said the words to them. "I love you both so much. Thank you for sticking up for me."

Marc kissed my forehead as John answered me: "Of course, Spence. What kind of boyfriends would we be if we didn't?"