Stuck in the Middle

Chapter 13

After leaving the party, I went back to my dorm room. I didn't even bother looking for TJ and Izzy. I felt bad, I did. But I knew I couldn't stay in that house any longer.

I sat up on my bed, with my laptop in my lap, but I wasn't paying attention to it. I should start my homework, even though it was Saturday, but I kept worrying what would happen when the party ended.

Both Marc and John were going to come back here. Both of them kissed me. I kissed both of them. They both wanted to keep me a secret.

I had no clue what I was going to do when they were both in the room with me.

It was almost eleven o'clock when the door opened and Marc walked in. He looked up at me from the doorway and smiled, closing the door behind him.

"Hey," he said, walking over to our bunks. "I thought you were going to come tonight." He put his hand on my knee, lightly rubbing circles on my bare skin with his thumb.

I shrugged. "I was there for a bit, but didn't feel that great."

"Are you alright?"

I looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze. I wish I knew what exactly was going on inside his head. How could he kiss a girl at the party then come here and act all sweet to me? Then again, how could I make out with John and pretend everything was okay with Marc and me?

Was it even okay?

I sighed, staring down at my sock-covered feet. "Can I ask," I started, ignoring his question. "Are you are into girls, too? Or are you just pretending for now?"

Marc took his hand off me with his own sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have asked that, but I needed to know. I needed to know if what I saw at the party meant anything to him or not.

"You saw, didn't you?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't need to. It was fairly obvious to both of us that we knew exactly what he was talking about. But did I have any right to judge him when I was kissing John while he was kissing that girl?

"I kissed someone, too," I admitted. "At the party."

"Who?"

I met his gaze again. I couldn't be certain, but it looked like he was hurt when I said that. "Just some guy."

The door opened before either of us could say anything else and John walked in. Marc was on the other side of the room, as far away from me as possible, before John could even get his key out of the lock.

He definitely looked drunk. Drunker than Marc, at least. I wasn't sure how many drinks either of them had, or how much was usual for them. Part of me wondered why these parties were even allowed, especially because we were all still in high school and shouldn't have access to this much alcohol.

"You both look guilty," John said with a laugh. "What'd you do, huh?"

Marc and I both looked at each other for a second. Was it really that obvious?

Marc spoke up first. "Spencer was just telling me that he kissed someone at the party tonight."

I had a feeling Marc was only trying to help. But I wish he could know that he probably just made everything worse.

"Oh, really?" John crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at me. "Who might that be?"

I felt like I was dangerously close to exposing both of them to each other. "Well... I don't... I don't know, exactly." I took a shaky breath. "I only just started at this school. I don't know a lot of people yet."

"You didn't get his name?" Marc asked. "That seems unlike you."

"What? Like you know Spencer?"

"More than you. I'm surprised you actually know his name."

The two of them were face to face, almost ready to fight each other. They were fighting over me and they didn't even know they both liked me. I didn't want to be around when they found that out.

"Guys," I interjected. They both looked up at me. "It doesn't matter, okay?"

"Are you saying you don't care about the guy you kissed?" John asked.

Marc scoffed. "Why do you even care?"

"Why do you?"

They were bickering like an old married couple, except with the strength of two teenage athletes, one of which was rather drunk. I didn't want to be involved.

I shut my laptop, no longer wanting to pretend to do homework. Both of them looked back up at me. "I'm not listening to this, okay?" I told them in a sudden bout of confidence. "I'm going to sleep." Taking my glasses off, I slipped under my covers, pulling them over my head to block out the light.

If only the blanket could also block out noise.

"You don't care about anyone but yourself," Marc said. "But now you're suddenly interested in who Spencer kisses?"

"I care about a lot of people. Just not you!"

"Since when?"

I threw the blanket off my head and put my glasses back on. Marc and John were standing inches apart, glaring at each other. There was no way I could stay here listening to them, but I didn't know how to get them to stop. At this point, I was dangerously close to just admitting the truth that I've kissed them both, which would probably only make them actually start fighting. With their fists instead of their words.

I scampered down from my bunk and slipped on my shoes. I had almost made it out the door when I was spotted.

"Where are you going?" John asked.

I shook my head, turning to face them both. "Who I kiss is my buisness," I said. "But if you two are just going to argue about my personal life, I don't want to listen to it, okay?"

I tried giving them each a look that said 'stop arguing or you'll out yourself'.

Maybe it worked because, in the next second, John pushed past me to get to the door, muttering something about having to 'take a piss'. A second after that, the door was slamming shut behind him and Marc and I were once again alone in the room.

"Do you really not know who he was?" Marc asked.

I shrugged, looking down at the floor. I didn't know how many times I could say the lie. Instead, I asked, "Do you know the girl you kissed?"

He was quiet for a long moment, which practically answered the question for him. Eventually, he said, "Okay, you're right. I'm sorry I got so defensive. John just pisses me off."

"He's not so bad," I tried.

"You just don't know him." He sighed. "And you don't want to, either."

I shook my head, unable to tell him the truth. Instead, I kicked off my shoes and climbed back up onto my bed. It was late and I really did just want to go to sleep.

I was just about to take my glasses off again when Marc stepped close to the bunks. "Come here," he said quietly, motioning me to lean down. When I did, he pressed his lips against mine.

I smiled into the kiss. Everything just seemed to melt away whenever I was kissing one of them. Those moments made me forget that I was eventually going to have to choose between them.

The doorknob jiggled and Marc threw himself onto the bed before John had the door open. I sighed, completely laying down on my bed. I watched as John crossed the room, glaring first at Marc on the bunk below mine, then glanced at me with a softer gaze.

I smiled at him as he switched off the light.

I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep this up.