Stuck in the Middle

Chapter 14

I managed to spend all of Sunday in the library. I even waited until I knew neither one was in the room to sneak in and pretend to be asleep when they came back. I wasn't trying to avoid John and Marc, but it ended up working out that way. I didn't know what I was going to say to either of them.

I needed to sort out my own feelings. But I also needed them to sort out their feelings. They were both still in the closet, and I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't open about themselves. Was I being shallow for wanting to be public with a relationship for the first time in my life? I didn't want to hide and sneak around and end up exactly where I was when Jordan and I got caught. I couldn't go through with that again.

A stack of books landed on the table across from me and I jumped, looking up from my breakfast to see TJ. He had his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me.

"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded. "I haven't seen you since you ditched me and Izzy at the party! And you haven't been answering your phone! I thought you were dead!"

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't feel all that great."

TJ slid into the chair across from me. "You know, Izzy had this theory that you snuck off to make out with some guy."

I had just stuck a spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth when he said that and I almost chocked on it. "What?" I squeaked, after managing to swallow.

"See, I told her that was ridiculous because you're too in love with Marc and John to even look at another guy. Unless she knows something I don't..."

"I'm not in love with them," I muttered. I cleared my throat. "And, even if she were right, you're the only guy at this school who I know is gay. Since I was obviously not making out with you, her theory is false."

I took another bite of oatmeal. I hated lying to TJ, but I didn't have any other choice. Not when both Marc and John told me not to tell anyone. Maybe TJ would be able to keep this a secret, but I didn't know for sure.

"You know, if you had come to the LGBT meeting with me on Friday, you'd know some more. Just saying."

"I promise I'll go to the next one, okay?"

I really was looking forward to going. Not necessarily to meet someone to date, which I knew TJ was implying, but just to meet other people who were like me. Before I met TJ, my only real friends were straight, not that there were very many of them anyway.

"Good. You better." TJ leaned back in his chair, a smug smile on his face. "We'll find you a guy to get your mind off being in love with John and Marc."

I dropped my spoon onto the table, not caring that it clattered against the surface loudly, probably drawing attention. "I'm not in love with my roommates!"

A deafening hush fell over the cafeteria. I could have sworn everyone's attention was on me in that moment.

"Spencer!"

I spun around in my chair to come face to face with John. He was sitting at the table behind me and I had no clue. But it was fairly obvious he just heard what I shouted. As did everyone else.

He put his hand over his heart, overacting a display of shock. "How could you?"

His friends burst out laughing. I was sure my face was bright red, which I quickly covered with my hands as I turned back to face TJ. I let my head rest on the table, not caring that I almost knocked my bowl of oatmeal over in the process.

"Glad we got that settled then," TJ said. "See ya in class, Spence!"

By the time I lifted up my head, he was gone.