Stuck in the Middle

Chapter 10

After leaving the bathroom, I decided to leave my dorm building altogether. I needed space to think and that wasn't going to happen in the bathroom or in my room. Maybe some fresh air would help.

"Spencer! There you are!"

Of course. TJ just had to find me the moment I stepped outside.

"Hi," I said, not really in the mood to talk.

"I've been calling you!" he exclaimed. "The LGBT club starts in like ten minutes!"

Right. I had forgotten their first meeting was tonight. I shook my head. "I think I'll just go next week."

"No!" TJ whined. "The first meeting is always fun! Besides, you have to tell me how it went in class with John. Did you swap the cards?"

I sighed, not wanting to think about that. "Yes, and he just cornered me in the bathroom. I really just want to be alone right now. I'm sorry."

I started walking away, hoping he wouldn't follow me. For a few moments, I thought I succeeded, but then he fell into step next to me. Neither of us spoke, which I was grateful for, but I still wished he wasn't coming with me.

Eventually, about halfway around campus, I finally said something. "Aren't you going to that meeting?"

"I don't want to leave you if you're not doing okay," he said softly.

I stopped walking and looked at him. "I'm fine. You should go."

"What did he do to you?"

I didn't speak. Really, John hadn't done anything to me. He almost did, but he stopped himself when he realized how much he was scaring me. But what if he didn't stop himself? What if I hadn't said anything? Was that the kind of person John was?

But if he was the type of person to be that aggressive with someone, then he wouldn't have stopped. No matter what I said or did. Was there more to John than everyone gave him credit for?

"Hey," TJ said softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry I made you mess up his grade."

I looked at him. He seemed so remorseful, like he really believed whatever he thought John did to me was his fault. It wasn't. I was the one who wrote up those cards. I was the one who gave them to him. TJ only gave me the idea. I'm the one to blame.

"What do you know about him?" I asked. "John? Is he really just an ass to everyone or is there more to him?"

"More?" TJ scoffed. "Seriously, what did he do to you?"

I shook my head. I didn't know if I should tell TJ the truth or not. He was my friend, but did I want to out John in the process? Even if it's to one person, I was fairly certain John wouldn't want anyone knowing.

"You should go to that meeting," I said. "Please, I just want to be alone right now."

TJ looked like he was going to argue, but then he sighed. "Okay."

"Thanks." I kept walking down the sidewalk the way we'd been going. I still had no idea where I was headed, I just wanted some space to think.

"Spencer," TJ called. I stopped and turned to look at him. "I really am sorry for getting you into this."

I shook my head again. "It wasn't your fault."

Before he could say anything else, I continued walking away. I wasn't even entirely sure I wanted to be alone, but talking seemed like an even worse idea right now. I had no clue what to think about everything that happened today, let alone talk about it with anyone.

But, as it turned out, wandering around campus on a Friday night after making a fool of one of the school's top athletes was not the way to avoid people. I kept getting stopped, just to be told what I did to John was 'amazing' or 'ballsy' or 'inspiring'. Most of the guys, I didn't even know. My first week of school and I've already made a reputation for myself. It was definitely not what I wanted.

So I slipped off campus, heading down any street that didn't have any students on it. I didn't know where I was going, but the quiet helped keep me sane. It kept me from snapping at some eager student saying they admired me for standing up to John.

I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

John never should have happened.

Marc never should have happened.

I sighed, leaning against someone's fence. I sank down to the ground, staring up at the three stars that were visible in the sky. The fact that Marc kissed me still hadn't fully sunken in yet.

It was a good kiss. Really good, in fact. I wanted another one, but not until I knew for sure what he wanted from me. I needed to know if he liked me for me or liked me because I was suddenly on his side in his feud against John.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there before someone sat down next to me. I didn't look, not wanting to talk to anyone, especially because I had a feeling it was TJ, who probably followed me instead of going to that meeting.

"Are you okay?"

Not TJ. Marc.

I snapped my eyes to his, just barely able to see his pupils in the dark. There was one street light, but it was just a little too far away to do much good. It's why I decided to stop in this spot, so the shadows could hide me. They didn't do a good enough job.

"How did you know I was here?"

He shrugged. "I heard John was looking for you, but you weren't in the room. Then I ran into your friend, what's his name? TJ? He said you were pretty upset."

Of course TJ had to say something. But that still didn't answer my question, not really. "So you just knew I'd be here, hiding on some street in the dark?"

Marc let out a short laugh. "Actually, I followed the rumors of guys seeing you pass by. I think you're famous now."

I shook my head, looking down at my feet. "I didn't want that," I said quietly. "I just didn't want him taking credit for the work I did."

Silence fell around us, except for the chirping of crickets. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I didn't know the words.

I told myself I wanted to be alone. I told TJ that. But I was finding that I liked having Marc sitting next to me, even if we weren't saying anything.

Eventually, he broke the silence. "I'm sorry for kissing you earlier."

I should have known that was coming. "Why did you?" I asked, slowly raising my gaze to meet his in the dark. "Because I made John look ridiculous in front of everyone?"

"No." He took a deep breath. "I really do like you, Spencer. I'm sorry I kissed you earlier because it was clearly the wrong time. And I should have asked you if I could first."

Without thinking, I said the only words that were in my head. "You can kiss me again."

So he did.