The Write Match // Bill Hader

Nine

"Meredith... Meredith Jane Elliot! Look at me!" He yells, and I continue to stare out the window, jumping at the sound of his voice.

"I don't feel like talking right now, Adam. Just leave it alone." I mumble.

"No, I'm not going to leave it alone. This is absolutely ridiculous; you can't just sit here and ignore me." He breaks, and I snap my head to him.

"There are a lot of things that are ridiculous in this situation, but I am not one of them! I can ignore you and I will, I will as long as you keep yelling at me!" I burst, and he looks at me confused.

"Who are you right now? This is not the Meredith I know; this is someone completely different." He sighs, doing his best to make me feel bad. He has always done this, making me feel back for things I shouldn't feel bad for.

"There is no 'special' Meredith you know. I'm my own person." I snap, and he shakes his head.

"Baby-"

"Don't call me baby again, you're not allowed to call me that." I say.

"That's what I've always called you, that's your name."

"No, not it's not! You can call me Meredith; you can call me by my damn name Adam. I'm not yours, I'm not your baby. I'm just me!"

"Do I mean nothing to you anymore? Do the past six years mean nothing to you?" He yells out, and I'm crying now.

"Shit, Adam! I wish you meant nothing to me, but you do, you mean so damn much to me!" I scream, staring out the window, seeing the snow starting to fall onto the road.

"Just take me home. I don't want to talk to you anymore." I say calmly, and he takes a deep breath. Lights pour into his car, and before I can understand anything, I hear the car horn, and everything is dark. The shattering glass, the horrible feeling in my chest. I smell smoke. I hear my scream, but I can't see or feel anything. "Adam!" I yell out, but there is not reply.

"Adam!" I scream, and hold my chest, I'm drenched in sweat. I look at my clock, five a.m.

I haven't had a dream like that in a long time, mostly because I've been distracting myself from them. I thought staying with Bill on and off would help, but I was wrong.

I miss him, I shouldn't miss him, but I do. I'm allowed to hurt, I'm allowed to mourn, but that doesn't mean I should regret it. I wish he would just leave me alone, but he won't. I can't go back to sleep; I don't want to.

I get up, picking out an outfit and getting my things together for work before putting my coat on and slipping my shoes on. I leave my apartment, heading out the door to the street. I know this route by heart now, and I don't stop until I get there.

I walk up to the apartment building, buzzing in and waiting for the door to open. By the time I'm upstairs, Bill already has the door open and it's obvious I woke him up.

I feel like absolute shit right now, and I wish I could just be normal. He's standing in his living room now, looking me up and down and I roll my eyes.

"What?" I ask bitterly, putting my things down.

"I just wasn't expecting to see you this early." He looks at me again.

"I'm sorry I showed up unannounced. I just needed to get out of my apartment." I throw my hands up and he shakes his head.

"That's fine, honey. I'd love to have some company." He tells me, and I walk into his living room. I walk behind him, and I cross my arms as he sits on his coffee table across from me again.