The Write Match // Bill Hader

Thirty-One

I get myself ready, and head over to the coffee shop, the one I always journal at. I wish Fletcher could have been here, but he's been out of LA for a couple days now, so Bill won't get to meet him. I sit outside feeling the breeze and I wait for him there. After a while I see him walking towards me.

"Took you long enough." I joke as he sits down.

"Sorry. I was trying to get another flight, and I took a shower, and I called some people." He tells me and I look over at him.

"Did you actually have somewhere to be back in New York?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Don't lie to me." I warn him and he shrugs.

"I was supposed to have a meeting with Greg, but it's really not that important. We can easily move it around." He tells me.

"Greg?" I ask and he nods.

"Greg Mottola. He directed Superbad and Adventureland." He tells me and I nod slowly.

"So, a meeting with him means, a new movie?" I ask and he has a soft smile now.

"Yeah." He tells me and I decide not to say anything else about it. We order food and coffee, and now we sit here, and it's almost surreal to see him sitting across from me. "Meredith, about what you said last night..." He mumbles and I nod.

"What did I say? I said a lot..." I quietly laugh and he scoots forward, relaxing.

"About not being happy here. Why are you still here if you're not happy?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Because I was offered this job because Jimmy believed in me and saw my potential. I don't want to be ungrateful and sound unappreciative." I tell him and he shakes his head.

"Jimmy would understand. Meredith, if you're not making the work, you know you should; if you're not feeling inspired and happy, I just think you should make your feelings known." He tells me and I shrug.

"This is my dream, Bill. I'm supposed to be happy here, I supposed to want to be here, and there is no reason I shouldn't want to. I have no reason to feel this way." I cross my hands on the table.

"I see what you're doing. You're invalidating the way you feel to prove something. I don't know what you're trying to prove, but you don't have to. You've never had to." He tells me and I shake my head.

"I'm trying to prove that moving here was worth what I lost in the process..." I mumble and he leans forward.

"I'm sorry. I missed that." He leans forward and turns his head.

"Nothing, I just... I want to make the right decision." I tell him and though I changed my words, they're still true. If I talk to Jimmy, it could go anyway.

He could not care how I'm feeling, I could quit, and I would be back on my way to New York, or he could tell me that I'm not cut out to be working in this industry, and that would tear me apart. "It's not that I don't love my job... I just... It's not the same anymore, working here." I tell him truthfully and he nods.

"Here's what you're saying... If I ever had to go to working here after working at SNL, I would go crazy. You've changed a lot, but something that hasn't changed is your integrity. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to Jimmy, he's not going to bite." He laughs and I look down to the table.

"I know, it's just..." I see him laughing and I toss a piece of my croissant at him. "You're so annoying." I joke and he's trying to make the conversation light. "What about you? You spend a lot of time in LA. Do you enjoy it?" I ask and he nods.

"I haven't spent much time in LA lately, but it feels the most like home to me. I moved to LA right after I left Tulsa and lived there for several years. LA is warm and sunny, it's easier to stay happy in LA." He tells me truthfully. "Plus, most of my friends live here, and everyone in New York, especially John, comes to visit when I'm here. It works out." He tells me and it hurts a bit to hear it. "I'm sorry, I know you haven't seen him..." He tells me.