Ma was going to take me back after she finished her training in Libya. Although, for the time being, I was raised as the daughter of the priest and his wife. They were now my parents. I called the priest "Daddy Ji" and his wife "Ami". I was very young when I went to live with my new family, but I still remember some things that happened near the beginning. I remember when Ma would come and visit me. She would bring clothes and toys for me and the other members of the family. She would only stay for a couple of hours and talk to Daddy Ji and Ami. Before she left, she would come and kiss me on my forehead. Only me. Even if her flight was early in the morning, she would come and say goodbye to me without fail. The moment Ma's lips touched my forehead I felt an undying love I had never felt before. No one had kissed me like she did. I could feel her love and the importance that I had in her life. I was worth her love and attention. I knew that she was my Ma, though no one had told me nor did I mention it to anyone. As far I was taught, Daddy Ji and Ami were my parents. When Ma came to visit, I never dared to call her "Ma", not even once. I was always too scared. I was scared to open my mouth. I was scared of what would happen to me if I did. Would I still be accepted into my new family?
I knew that I did not belong to this family. I knew that I had been brought into this family as a young child. But I was not supposed to know any of this. This secret was not kept very hidden in the community though. Often, there were moments when neighbours would question who I was since I really stood out. A girl had come into the family at the age of three and I did not look like any of them. They were all fair-skinned, whereas I had a darker complexion. So, Daddy Ji and Ami told people who I really was. They would say that my mother had gone to Libya for her nursing training and would come to collect me once she had finished. I could hear the conversations in the living room, the whispers in the street, the hidden words in the kitchen. It was difficult for me, a little girl, to keep such a big secret. I could not turn to anyone to talk about how I was feeling. Even though I lived there, I never felt at home. They said I was family, yet I did not feel like I was. I bottled all my feelings up because I knew that Ma would come back to take me away. But she never did.
YOU ARE READING
Finding out who I am - An autobiography
Non-FictionI was a little girl not sure where I belonged. My mother was a Christian whereas my father was a Muslim. Their relationship did not work out in the late 1960s. I was separated from both of them and placed into a different family. I felt welcome but...
