Finding out who I am - An autobiography

XII - Love

In 2013, Daddy Ji became a bishop of the Church of Pakistan. This was a very proud time for the whole family because he had been working for this moment his whole life. Now he had more responsibility and continued to build many churches for the local community, and to open schools for children from low-income families. I supported him throughout his ministry and even more so now: emotionally, spiritually and financially. He really appreciated all the encouragement. In doing so, Daddy Ji and I spoke more often on the phone to give me updates on the work he was doing. I suppose it was because I was older now, too, that Daddy Ji opened up a bit more. We had not talked about our feelings before, yet we began to have more conversations on deeper issues. Some were more general topics; others were more on family matters that had always been kept quiet. I had not known how he was feeling most of the time since he was very good at putting on a smile and continuing with his work. Now that I have my own family, I realise why he had done that. He had not wanted to upset anyone, but had wanted the best for all his children.

I admired Daddy Ji for always thinking about his family, even when he had many other things to focus on. He knew what was important to him and he was committed to keeping people happy and well. He decided to distribute some of his inheritance among his children and grandchildren to help us all out. We were all abroad and living our lives with our own families. Daddy Ji would visit us almost every year. He showed so much love to all his grandchildren. Just as he would for me when I was young, he always encouraged his grandchildren to aim high and work sincerely as well. They also admired his caring spirit.

In the early hours of a cold winter night, I received a phone call from one of my aunts in Pakistan. Daddy Ji had passed away. My husband and I rushed to Lahore for the funeral. The eight-hour plane journey felt very long. His passing was around Christmas time, so there was a lot of miscommunication about details for arrangements as many of the people and venues had prior engagements. I had so many thoughts racing through my head that I began to write them all down. I planned everything that I would say at the funeral; everything that Daddy Ji did for me. I had a certain confidence in me now. I was mentally prepared to say whatever I wanted. My whole life I had been afraid of speaking my thoughts. I did not want to hurt anyone, but now I did not care. I had to say what was on my heart.

"Hello everyone. Thank you for coming today to mourn the loss of my father. I am Anita, his daughter. Daddy Ji was a great man who achieved all that he wanted in his career. He became a priest at twenty-two years old and a bishop at seventy-nine years old. I saw first-hand how hard he worked. He went to countless church meetings, visited the sick and elderly, and looked after his family. He always supported and helped those in need.

Growing up, our house was like a hotel with numerous guests staying over. We had extended family members, trainee priests, bishops, trainee nurses and businessmen all coming to our house. I also arrived at the house as one of those guests. I came to the house when I was around two years old and Daddy Ji took me in as his own daughter. He always made sure I had the same opportunities as his children. He was my role model.

Our family went through many challenges, yet Daddy Ji never let them get him down. He always got back up and carried on, no matter what. He showed me how to do the same; no matter what happens or what people might say. He was my biggest encourager. He took me around the world. I will never forget the guidance he gave me. He encouraged me to be myself. He encouraged me to pursue education. He encouraged me to come to London. I did not even want to leave Pakistan, yet he knew what was best for me. He knew that I would be successful in London.

I will never forget the love that he showed me. I thank God that all I have and all that I am today is because of him. I will forever be grateful for that."