STARDUST ⭑ LUKE PATTERSON

eight and a half

there are mentions of suicide and dark themes in this chapter which may not be suitable for everyone so please read at own risk

if any of you ever need anything, i am always here for you

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Emmy shouts, hands slamming against her steering wheel with each word. Tears blur her vision, the road unseen, along with the speedometer. A raw scream rips at her throat as her car zooms down an empty road.

    Furiously, she wipes away her tears with the back of her hand. She wills herself to stop crying, but the pain tearing at her fragile heart continues to shred every inch of her soul apart.

    Who was Luke to say she was lying about loving him? He wasn't in her head. He didn't know her thoughts.

    But he knows her. He knows her inside out. So, what if he's right?

    Emmy wails louder, foot sinking deeper into the clutches of her gas pedal.

    What if she really only did it because she knew he was going to leave? For once, it wouldn't have been her to walk away, but someone else. She couldn't fathom it. Her mind wouldn't dare to conjure up the image of his back as he turned away from her just like her dad did.

    She couldn't be stuck in such a cycle again. Her dad always came back, to leave again and tear open healing wounds. Over and over again, salt would be poured and the sting would linger until the next time he came around.

    Emmy didn't want that for her and Luke.

    She didn't want to watch him leave with each concert, tour, career.

    The silence of the car only amplifies the sputtering of Em's engine. Her chest heaves for air, itching to breathe something in so sweet, it would kill her.

    Her surroundings form streaks of dark colors, not a single thing taking form. Except for the sudden flash of an animal scurrying across the bridge. Emmy's foot slams onto the break. Tires squeal. The back of her car teeters. And suddenly, everything was still.

    Fearing her life, Emmy's trembling hands shakily touch her torso, then her legs, and then her face. She feels the warmth of being alive, and breathes a sigh of genuine relief. Underneath the flickering lights hanging over the bridge, Emmy is grateful she's alive and unharmed.

    She could have died. She could have passed on and Luke would have...Luke would have blamed himself. This was stupid. This entire fight, all of it, was stupid.

    "I should've stayed," she murmurs to herself, voice croaking due to her strained vocal chords. She squeezes her eyes shut. The light continues to blink.

    I never wanted to leave him, Emmy thinks to herself. When she really thought about it, she was terrified of watching Luke become her father, that she didn't realize that's who she was.

    She ran when he kissed another girl. She ran when she first realized she liked him as more than a friend. She ran when he didn't love her back.

    But she was going to turn around, and be there for him for his first headlining concert because that's who they are. Luke and Emmy are best friends first before lovers.

    Her sweaty palms go to change gears, preparing to speed off towards the Orpheum without another moment to spare. The light. The light shines. It dims. It shines. It disappears. It flickers, and underneath it stood a singular figure, feet on the edge, arms clutching the post as they looked out over the water.

    Emmy clambers out of her car, shouting, "Hey!" to whoever it may be. In slow motion, a girl, who couldn't have been older than Emmy, turns, and with each second of light shining above, Em could see the reflection of tears on her face. She sprints over, heart lurching as the girl furiously shakes her head and leans forward. "Don't!" Emmy pleads, knowing that the roaring Pacific Ocean below them would swallow her whole, and possibly never spit her out.

    "Please," the girl whispers. Her hands are white at where she's holding the pole. "Y-You don't understand."

    "Don't do it," Emmy repeats. She stands still, hands raised, and heart hammering through her ribcage.

    "I have to. There's nothing left for me here." The girl with hair so dark, almost blending into the night, purses her lips and releases a sob so broken, Emmy's ears ring with sorrow. "You don't have to tell anyone what you saw. I'll be okay."

    Em wasn't sure if it was the slur of her words or the pungent odor of alcohol radiating from the young girl, but she knew she was drunk. "Don't jump," Emmy says quieter. "Listen to me-"

    "Don't try to tell me how great life will be if I keep going. There's nothing for me. It's all black," she laughs bitterly, leaning forward again in a drunken haze. Her hand clutches the light with the sudden shift in balance, as if she didn't want to let go in the first place. Either way, Emmy lurches forward subtly at the action, gaining another step between the two. "Stay back!" she screeches.

    "I get it!" Emmy shouts back.

    "No, no you don't," she cries, eyes clenching shut to erase the pain.

    "Yes, I do. You really want it to end, but you don't want to die-"

    "I DO!"

    "Then why haven't you jumped yet?!" Emmy takes another step. The other girl watches with wide, glazed over eyes. "Because we both know that if you wanted to, you already would have." She walks forward. "You wouldn't have even given me a chance to try to stop you."

    The younger girl tilts her head solemnly, palms sweating. "I...I don't."

    "I know," Em replies softly. Her hand reaches out to her. "I know," she repeats reassuringly.

    "I don't want to die like this," she continues. She watches her outstretched hand, exhaling in relief when Emmy stands beside her on the very edge of the bridge. Her black hair tickles at Em's face, the wind throwing it around between the two of them.

    The light continues to phase in and out. The noirette's clammy hand envelops Emmy's gently, the other still using the pole for balance. The latter's big brown eyes held promise, tugging the girl to her carefully.

    "I'm sorry," the young girl apologizes, her eyes, although drowning in tears, held a spark of life Emmy envied.

    Emmy shakes her head, legs still wobbling from standing over the roaring waves below them. She places one of her legs back onto the bridge to stabilize the two of them. The barrier between them and the ocean was still short and dangerous, so Emmy nods at her calmly.

    "It's okay," she whispers. "Let go of the pole very carefully," she instructs.

    The girl agrees, white hands filling with color at the release of her deathly grip. Emmy exhales softly, as the girl teeters slightly.

    "You're okay," Emmy states, hand holding hers so tightly.

    Drunkenly, one small foot falls over another, but two bodies fall from grace, a dim street light flickering above them.