Secret | (Merder)

The Truth that is Unknown

Continued in Derek's P.O.V.

When I laid down after we all were downstairs I am just worried for Mer. What is she hiding? I just want to know, but clearly she doesn't. I just want to understand what Mer is going through, what she needs help with. I close my eyes and fall asleep. With a variety of dreams. Some with Mer, some with out. Man, I am just freaked out.

I woke up at 3:34 am and didn't see Mer in our bed. I went downstairs still droopy eyed to see Mer asleep on the couch with her mother's journals. I just looked at her, she is the love of my life. I then gave her a kiss on the head, and went back upstairs. I couldn't fall back asleep so I got ready for work.

***

I whispered, "Bye Mer," and then gave her a slight peck on the cheek. I don't want to wake her, it's the first time she actually slept in a while. I grabbed my briefcase, and then saw a sticky note. I read it, "call cristina after thing!" I sighed. She knows something... and she won't tell me. I walked out of the house and got in my car. I twisted the volume up on the radio, and lip synced to the song. "Do do do do..."

***

"Shepherd!" Alex shouted, "I got a baby with a possible brain tumor."

"Okay, what room?" I asked Alex while putting my pen in my pocket.

Alex looked at the charts, "Uhh- 1673 in gynie wing..." I started walking to that room, and when I walked in I was met with a nice couple.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Costello, I am Dr. Shepherd a neurosurgeon. We are going to talk about your baby now."

Mrs. Costello started rubbing her stomach, "Is... Is my baby gonna be okay???"

I assured her, "She is, if we do surgery on her alright? She has a tiny tumor on her neck, but if we do a tiny surgery on her, she will live a long, long life."

"Alright," Mrs. Costello looked at her husband. I exited the room closing the chart. I stopped, I saw Meredith in the waiting room. I- I- I couldn't process why she would be in the OB/GYN waiting room. I was about to talk to Mer, but then a nurse came out of prepping an exam room, "Dr. Meredith Grey? The OB will see you now." Shock just wiped my face. Meredith is hiding something. I sat in the waiting room with my head in my hands. I looked over at my watch and it has only been 3 minutes. I have no idea about how long Mer will be in the exam room. I grabbed a newspaper out of hundreds on the coffee table and started reading.

Mer came out of the exam room, and as soon as she saw me. I ran after her in the wing, down the stairs, out of the lobby, and in the parking lot. She just got in and locked the car door, which I tried to open. Mer was balling her eyes out. I don't know what is wrong, but I am trying to understand her.

I knock on the driver side window, "Mer, Mer... please! Tell me what is wrong! Please..." Then I put my hand up to the window, and started crying, "please Mer!" I felt like Mer is mad at me, and I am supposed to figure out what she is mad at. Meredith started crying her eyes out even harder. I even haven't seen her cry that hard. My eyes are red and I am just puzzled.

"Mer... come out of the car so I can hug you!" I shouted. Mer then looked up and unlocked the door. She got out and held onto me so tight I never wanted to let go of her. I whispered, "it's okay Mer... just tell me." Her grip stopped. Meredith walked away, "I'm sorry Derek I just... just can't tell you." I couldn't figure what it was that she was hiding. I slammed my hand on her car. My anger is rushing up and down, I just need to figure it out!

"Damn it," I yelled, "Damn it!"

I watched as Meredith walked into the hospital.  Then, I walked back in the hospital with Meredith no where to be seen. Cristina came up to me.

Cristina looked me in the eye, "Stay away from Meredith. She is fed up with you asking her 'what is wrong?' Just let it go. Just let it go Derek! Jeez..."Cristina then walked away. All eyes were on me.

I just walked into an on-call room. Normally I am not a cryer, but I was super emotional. I just want to be there for Mer. I stared at the ceiling for a while, until I fell asleep.

*pager beeping 911*

I awoke, "Uh- what is it? Oh, 911." Then, I walked out of the on-call room. My hair was messier than usual. I wasn't worried about that though, I was worried about Meredith.