Unknown Origins (Supernatural Fanfiction)

Chapter TwentyEight

This chapter is dedicated to my Niece JadeGibbo for making my cool cover picture for this story! Thank you Jade, love you and I hope you like it

CHAPTER TWENTYEIGHT

TRIGGER WARNING, THERE IS VIOLENCE, DEATH AND EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN (just doing this to be safe don't want to hurt and or offend anyone)

[Written in first person POV of Jane]

The memories came in clips and flashes, some moments and others only lasting for a few seconds in images of people or places fading and flashes from one to another.

***

"Emily," her voice was gentle and soft like she was singing to me, this was my mother I knew it as soon as I saw her face, that beautiful face. She looked like a princess from all those films you would watch as a child, her hair was strawberry blonde just like mine but redder somehow almost like the shade of a sunset on a summer afternoon, brown eyes almost reminding me of Sam's. And her smile that welcomed me, it was bright and childlike, she looked so young.

I felt a sensation of longing as the image of her faded. My mother, where was she, I wanted to see her.

I was presented with more memories from my childhood, everything.

My family, my mother Layla yes that was her name, as beautiful as she was she was also kind hearted so loving to everyone.
My father Zachary a brute of a man, large in muscle and very strong I remember times when he would lift my mother in the air when she was pregnant with my sister like she was a feather in his hand but yet he was gentle with her, he was a fragile man at heart yet still courageous and would defend his family if need be.

And my sister, oh my younger sister June. Oh how my heart lifted when I remembered her, how could I forget such a face, her hair was dark like my fathers and her eyes brown like my mother's I would always think she would grow to be such a beauty, one that all the boys would fight over. She was quite when she was born but before she could walk she learnt to talk and hadn't stopped since.

I missed them, I longed to see them, where were they, why could I only see them for a short time, why did I only see memories of June til the age of 10.

My heart ached and my head was becoming heavier with all the memories of my years of high school and college, all the times I would spend studying. I was so alone, I felt it in my stomach I could feel the emptiness of my life as I grew up.

"Where are you going girls going on a night like this," and then there it was a memory that explained why I was alone, it wasn't that I didn't have time for friends or people didn't like me, I couldn't trust anyone.

A voice from behind me called out to me and a girl next to me, a friend or at least I thought she was, her name is fuzzy.... Katy. How could she have left me there she ran, she ran away and that guy mugged me, he hurt me, he abused me and ran away with everything and she left me. His hands were ruff and forceful and I remembered the feeling of his skin on mine, but I could my heart was sinking with the feeling of betrayal and this agonizing feeling of hurt and pain as Katy ran away leaving me defenseless.

Then suddenly I was boxing, running, training, I was writing and studying. My life was on a full time line of career and school and.... Karate. I Learnt karate? And judo? Wait.... Boxing? Techniques and skills were rushing though my head soon enough I remembered how to do a judo kick and how to defend myself. I was learning to defend myself and I was learning to not look weak, I remembered how it felt to feel weak and I knew at that moment that this was when I decided I wasn't going to be weak anymore and how much I hated people to think I was innocent and defenseless.

Memories of graduation ceremonies and magazine work promotions faded in and out certain words flashed in my mind words like Texas, L.A, New Orleans and Cosmopolitan when suddenly my mind slowed and a memory I would rather forget appeared.

Me, my family we.... We died. Here was the reason my little sister didn't grow up why I could never see them again, they were died with me. It was sudden but my memories were slow, a train heist, something you don't see every day. My memory was focused on June her face she was so young I watched as she was shoot in the head first along with my mother then my father, them me. My heart pulled at my chest I didn't want this memory I didn't want this in my life in my mind the images of them died by my side, me not be able to do anything being defenseless made me angry I wanted to die all over again and I did. This man this rugged looking man looked into my eyes as he pulled up the gun and asked me the same question he asked the last 6 people he had shoot before me including my family.

"Where is she, my daughter, you killed my daughter," his eyes were dark and emotionless he was clearly deranged but I couldn't answer his question, I thought about attaching him about which direction I could kick or jump at him but he had a gun and I couldn't risk another life and so I shook my head and without another word he pulled the trigger, it was loud and the sound off the shoot ran through my ears the peoples screams were muffled and the moment went in slow motion. My heart stopped my mind cleared and soon the bullet was in my skull and I was on the ground for a moment I was still alive pain rushing through my body so much pain that I couldn't contain it and my mind went blank.

***

Soon enough I was in the motel room again Cas no longer had his hand on my forehead but both of his hands were gripping my shoulders tight. I was screaming and crying my eyes were full of tears and the pain was still there, the hurt, the loneliness, the betrayal, the agony and the loss, everything. I felt it all in my heart, my head and my body; everywhere I felt the pain and I couldn't help but cry out it hurt so much I couldn't contain it. It was as if I was stabbed in my back a thousand times. I was so scared. Castiel held onto my shoulders.

"Jane, it's okay, Jane please calm down," I could hear the concern in his voice.

My mind was everywhere and I couldn't focus, I was lost and I had broken down.

"oh god," I kept repeating as I felt right into Castiels chest. "Their gone, my family, they died, oh god," I cried over and over into his chest Castiel wrapping his arms around me hugging me.

This was the closest we had ever been and I knew in that moment we became closer. I could feel his breathe and I had a sense that he wasn't sure what to do but I just kept repeating the same thing. "Oh god, oh god,"

"It, it hurts Cas," I cried reaching my hand to my chest pulling at my shirt the pain agonizing I just wanted it to stop. "God Cas, I saw them, they got shoot and I saw them," I toke a short breathe between every word finding it difficult to breathe.

"DDDEEEAAANN," I cried out his name, all I wanted was his touch, I wanted his words his voice to reassure me, all I wanted was Dean Winchester holding me, comforting me I wanted to be there with him but he wasn't he was gone and the thought of being away from him and everything else made it worse.

Castiel sat there in silence for a moment as I lay there in his arms shaking and sobbing but when I didn't speak another word when I couldn't talk and it all became too much I heard him whisper softly.

"I know, I know you want him. I'm sorry. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," and as he said that it reassured me that he was right he was there and I was not alone.