It will be me before it's you (And that's okay)

Chapter 7

"Oh! Clarke! I thought I'd catch you on your way in!" Indra said as she greeted her at the door. Clarke gently shook the snow off her umbrella, making sure to hit the mat. She wouldn't dare drop snow on the expensive looking tiles.

"Hello Ms Woods" Clarke smiled "what's up?"

"Today's going to be slightly different"

"Different?" She asked

"Yes." Indra tapped her fingers together "Alex- Lexa has a check up in the hospital today. Just her usual check ups to make sure the paralysis hasn't progressed or isn't causing any more pain than normal. I was wondering if perhaps you would like to join us this time, given that you're supposed to be taking over Anya's role. However I understand if you don't want to. Gustus is going regardless. You could stay here-"

"Of course not, Indra. I must go! This is part of caring for Lexa" Clarke smiled

"Are you sure? She's rather moody on these days"

"I'm more than sure ms Woods"

"Oh, goodness call me Indra. I'm begging you"

The sound of Lexa's quietly whirring wheelchair caught Clarke's attention, and the brunette, along with her sister Anya, rounded the corner.

Lexa looked more tidy than usual, probably because she was actually leaving the house today. Or perhaps just because Anya had helped her dress. She wore a simple white blouse, and some rather comfortable looking trousers. Her hair was well brushed and extremely shiny, although Clarke made a mental note to ask about getting the poor woman a hair cut.

"Good morning, Clarke" Lexa greeted

"Hello Lexa. How are you feeling today?"

Lexa hummed "Well despite the fact that I mostly can't feel much, especially my toes, the part of me that can feel is feeling alright."

Clarke laughed lightly at the girls humour and turned to Indra "when are we leaving exactly?"

"Now"
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Clarke sat in the small waiting room, watching as the doctor lifted Lexa up to a sitting position on the bed to examine her spine.

"How long has she been this way?" Clarke asked quietly

"What, broody? Or disabled?" Indra asked

"I mean... how long has she been paralysed for?"

"A few years now I would say. She was twenty three when it happened. She still had her whole life ahead of her"

"She still does" Clarke smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on Indra's knee.

"Unfortunately for us dear, she doesn't believe she does."

Clarke tilted her head. Was that why Lexa was so frustrated? Was that why she acted the way that she did? Maybe that is why Costia left too.

"I just wish she could see more of what her life could be like, even with the obstacles she has." Indra said sadly

"What do you mean?"

"Well" The older woman sighed, running her finger up and down the styrofoam coffee cup "it's no secret that Lexa isn't the biggest fan of... well, being alive anymore. Especially during her breakdowns, she would talk about going to Switzerland, for an assisted suicide. Euthanasia if you will."

"But she can't just give up like that. Right? She's so young." Clarke argued. The idea of Lexa giving up so quickly, despite having hardly known her, didn't sit right in her stomach