The Camper Van | ☑️

chapter 18

*next day*

jimin woke up first this time, lazily opening his eyes and laying in bed after feeling himself more awake. events from yesterday replayed in his head and his heart instantly pained him. shouldn't he be happy? he still has yoongi as a friend and his boyfriend. he has two people that makes him happy but why doesn't he feel content?

jimin was getting tired of questioning himself, asking himself questions he doesn't have answers too or couldn't answer in general. he decided to just think randomly instead in hopes to ease the heartache and prevent a headache.

he likes taehyung. taehyung loves him. he's starting to love taehyung again but then yoongi comes into the picture and things becomes wishy washy. he thinks talking about taehyung would help figure out his feelings but he thinks it's just making things worse between yoongi and him.

the visits to hoseok-hyung's place were the highlight of jimin's week, getting a chance to see his boyfriend but after the second visit, it seem more as a friendly get together rather than a meeting with the love of his life. jimin thought kissing him would help sort out the doubts in his mind but the kiss just created more doubts.

he felt nothing towards the kiss and jimin thinks taehyung noticed it.

after thinking about taehyung, he started thinking about yoongi for comparisons.

jimin feels at ease whenever he's around yoongi, he feels like he could talk to him about anything and everything without judgement or having to worry that he talks too much. yoongi doesn't mind when he speaks about taehyung every time he brings him up, he couldn't help but see how yoongi's posture would fall and he would get tense.

jimin likes how attentive yoongi could be, he likes how yoongi could cook for the two of them some days instead of him doing the constant cooking. he likes how yoongi doesn't mind when he gets touchy at times or when he asks for cuddles when he gets touch deprived.

there was so many things jimin likes about yoongi that he would spend all morning just thinking about them.

but doesn't taehyung do almost the exact same stuff?

jimin groaned softly and covered his head with a pillow. he wonders why his brain is treating taehyung as a friend rather than a boyfriend. he wonders why his brain doesn't want nothing to do with taehyung romantically but rather friendly. did he wasted a year of his life trying to love someone when in reality it was never really love but adoration?

he knows the difference between how taehyung acts and how yoongi acts is very large but now he's torn between the two. should he stay with taehyung and still try to work their relationship out or should they just call it a quits?

jimin removed the pillow off his head and closes his eyes.

he can't push the feelings he has for yoongi away any much longer, its hurting him and really it's just making things bad.

jimin likes yoongi but doesn't want to confirm it.

jimin wants to be with taehyung but he can't give him the love in return.

he's conflicted.

- ˏˋ🚐ˊˎ -

nighttime fell upon the camper van challengers as they settled down for the night. yoongi was cooking for him and his partner when jimin came out of the bathroom fully dressed with his jacket on.

"where are you going?" yoongi asked, turning the temperature on the stovetop down to low.

"I have to speak to taehyung about something. I should be back before dinner."