Sign Of The Times || Jasper Hale

chapter 042

Working with Mrs. Pawly was something that always eased Alex. It only took about one week of a fully planned work schedule to be completely at ease with seeing and smelling Bella. It was Friday and though Alex usually worked only 2 days in the week, Mrs Pawly was delighted to see that Alex was there more often. She became older and doing all the work was becoming to much for her. Something that Alex had noticed when she came around, four years ago.

"It is not good to worry about things that are not in our control." Alex raises an eyebrow and turns to Mrs Pawly. She is sitting in her lounge chair in the break room with her cup of tea, her feet on the table. She looked peaceful.

"I'm sorry?" Alex frowns and grabs her coffee from the machine and sits in front of the woman.

"I see the worry in your eyes." Alex chuckles. "It's not a good look on your youthful face." Alex laughs. "Look at me, I don't worry and look at this beautiful thing." It was true, the old woman still had a gorgeous face.

"I'll try to stop." A teasing smile appears on the old woman's face.

"Is it a boy?" Alex chuckles. "Or a girl? I've seen the way you look at some customers." A bubbly laugh emits from Alex' throat. This woman knew everything. "How long has it been?" Alex' smile suddenly disappears as she looks at the old woman. "I may not know your life, but I know the look of pain." Alex looks down and tries to come up with words. "Sometimes you just have to go right through the pain. Right through the anger."

"It's scary though." Alex softly replies.

Peter had been the one to ignore his emotions. He had been the soft one of the two. Alex always made her emotions grow into one; anger. But she had seen what it had done to her brother. The lovely young man that seemed to get along with everyone, had become sheltered. To afraid to talk to anyone. That is, until the volcano of emotions had burst and she had seen the damage that it could do. She didn't completely understand what had happened, but lately her own true emotions had come up and she knew that she had to work through them. If she scared her brother with just her anger and frustration, she didn't know what it would do to him if her emotional volcano exploded.

"That's what makes us human." The old woman replies and Alex smirks at the irony. "Or me at least." Mrs. Pawly shrugs and winks before slowly getting up from her chair. "Well darling, you have done enough this week." She pats Alex on the shoulder and kisses the top of her head. Alex closes her eyes and holds onto the feeling of a parental figure giving affection, something she did miss over the years. Something she had acknowledged the first time that the old woman dared to wrap and arm around the young looking girl. "Go home, grab some ice cream, watch a movie that makes you cry and bawl your eyes out without letting anyone interrupt you. Then you write about it in a diary..-"

"I don't want anyone to know."

"Then you burn the damn thing." Alex chuckles at the woman's easy going replies. "You do you. Just this evening. Then you go on and look at your troubles if they're really that bad."

**

Alex had taken the words deeply and had decided on the saddest movie she could think of. She had turned off her phone and gotten herself some Pepsi and her favorite chips as comfort foods. She also bought a new pack of cigarettes and some booze, but she would have to save the latter for later as she had to get real with her emotions tonight.

Peter wasn't going to be home so it would be perfect. She didn't have plans with the Uley's or the Cullen's. Her night was set.

Alex places all the things she needs on the couch and the table before heading upstairs and putting on her favorite sweatpants and sweater to ensure the most comfort. She frowns as she starts to think about their VHS player, they had to have it somewhere. They often used it for their monthly movie nights. Something sacred, though they hadn't had any time lately and spent the last few times going out or helping Sam. Something that was also needed. Besides, Peter and her made time for each other often enough with their picnics and game nights and late night parties.

After searching for a good half hour - she had forgotten that Alice had helped cleaning the house and apparently had put the player in their attic, somewhere they rarely went - she puts the VHS player on and places her most sacred videotape in it. Dumbo, the flying elephant.

She sits down and sighs as she also grabs a small notebook. She'd have to write some things down. Her mind wanders off as the movie begins at what a mess she had created in her life. She starts to think of the things that she is confused about or makes her sad or angry and decides to write a few things down.

- wrong friends, do I tell them off?
- Jasper
- Peter
- Volturi and their stupid assignments

A few tears start to fall as she looks at the movie and she writes more thing down that bother her. It doesn't take long for her to finally let go of the tears that she has been holding in for so long, especially when it comes down to one of the saddest scenes in the movie. The one where Dumbo is hanging in his mother's proboscis while she is in her own little jail and he is out.

"Lex!" Alex' eyes widen as she looks towards the door where Jasper stands and she quickly tries to hides the fact that she's a blubbering mess.

"Jasper," she begins and quickly wipes the tears away and stands up. "What are you doing here? We didn't have any plans?" She secretly stands in front of the TV.

"I wanted to tell you that Edward's back." He mutters while he tries to look past her but it doesn't matter as she rushes upstairs to change into different clothing. "Dumbo? Really?"

She comes downstairs and narrows her eyes at him and jabs her finger into his chest. "Not another single word."