Memories (Ashton Irwin Ff)

Chapter eight - Music store & Swimming at midnight

Dear Ashton,

the next two pictures were taken at the same day and it was one of the best days I can remember.

The first one is at the music store which was near our old school.

The beginning of the day was terrible like most of the days. I woke up with my alarm clock and pulled on some casual clothes after I had a shower and went downstair with my rucksack. At the bottom of the stairs I stopped because I heard some strange voices from the kitchen. I creeped into the kitchen only to see my mother laying on the ground. I was in shock and after I really realized the situation I quickly got to my mother. First I thought she stopped breathing and tears were forming in my eyes but then I heard a soft snore and noticed that she is sleeping and nothing bad happened. I poked her and her eyes fluttered open.

"Why are you laying on the kitchen ground?" I asked with anger and sadness in my voice. Anger because she scared the shit out of me with laying on the kitchen ground and not breathing. And sadness because I hadn´t expect something like that from her and I was really worried about her healthy.

"I don´t know. How late is it?" She always changed the topic and it really annoyed me and beside you could smell alcohol and sweat.

"Mum. When did you came home last home?" Her next answer really shocked me and coursed me to take my things and went to school without breakfast. "About half an hour ago and I think I slept her because I was to drunk and tired to go upstairs or anywhere else." She should be a role model for me but she got drunk nearly every day under the week and went to parties till the early morning and never cared if I´m home or not.

When I saw you on my way to school I fell in your arms and cried about every thing. You sad nothing and just hold me. It was the best you could do and I was thankful that I had such a good friend like you.

We went the rest of te way to school in silence and you hold my hand. I knew I could count on you and when someone called me names in school it didn´t bothered me cause I was in my own world and you led me through the school floors to my locker. We got our books and went separated ways for the day because it was wednesday and we hadn´t lessons or lunch together.

The day went slowly and I nearly fell asleep in history and unch was shit like always. I sat alone on the last table in the corner and nobody noticed me beside my bullys who threw food at me here and then and laughed when they hit me. Five minutes before the bell rang I got up and went to the bathroom. I checked if it was empty and brought out a razor. It wasn´t the first cut but it was the first cut which was a relief for me. I had done it before you have to know but it was only a few times and it was more like a try and I wanted to know how it feels but it never helped me because it wasn´t deep and you couldn´t see it anymore after a week. But that time in the school bathroom it was more serious. It was deep and the blood was everywhere in the sink and over my arm.

It was a relief. It was to much in a short time.

First the shock with my mother and then the bullying at lunch.

After the bell rang I quickly cleaned my arm and the sink and put my sleeves over the cut so that nobody and espacially you wouldn´t notice.

I came late to my english class and when I walked in my teacher gave me a talk about being punctual and I got detention. Everybody loved at me when I walked to my seat at the right end in the last row. The teacher ignored me for the rest of the lesson and kept daydreaming and walked to the detention room when the bell rang cause it was the last room.

I have detention until three o´clock.:( I remember to text you so you wouldn´t wait for me. And I got a quick reply.

K. I´ll pick u up later;) You knew I hatred this smiley but that was the exactly reason you always used it.