Memories (Ashton Irwin Ff)

Chapter seven - Her father's death part 2

Dear Ashton,

how are you? I hope you are fine. Today is my father´s anniversary and I missed you by my side. You helped me so much eight years ago. You held my hand during the funeral. You was like a rock for me and i could always count on you. We were only in third grade but you found every time the right words and you knew what to do. You was by my side the whole two ours in the hospital and I had my head on your shoulder and you had your arm around me and talked to me. I didn´t remember the words but you told me so many unimportant things but it distracted me and in some moments I even laughed.

This day started so nice. I got up and the sun shined bright through my curtains and you promised a day ago that yu had a surprise for me. I was excited and after I took a shower and had breakfast you picked me up.

"Hey! Are you ready?"

"Yeah. What is the surprise?"

"You will see.Just wait I will tell you after school." I hate surprises and you exactly knew that.

"I hate it when you didn´t tell me." You only smirked and I couldn´t get a single word out of you the whole school time. During lunch I tried to convince you that it wouldn´t hurt you to give me a little tip but you kept your mouth shout and began with a new topic. You liked to see me that excited and noisy.

The day was so long and I couldn´t wait to the end of the last period. We hadn´t the last period together. When it ended I quickly packed my things and almost ran to my locker. I shoft all the things in my locker and walked fast to yours. You as lazy as you was arrived a few minutes after me at your locker where I eagerly waited for you.

"You can´t wait, can you?" You laughed. Oh good your laugh or should say giggle was so adorable but you always said you found it terrible to giggle like a girl. But in reality it was the cutest thing I have ever heard.

"Let´s go out of this hell." You took my hand and lead me to the exit.

"Where are we going?" I asked another time.

"To the book store." And then I regonized the surroundings and twenty meters in front of us were the book store we sometimes went to.

"Why?"

"Do you remember the book you saw last time? You wanted it so bad and you hadn´t the money for it and you parents said you had enough books?"

"Yes?" I tried to make an connections why you said that.

"So I saved my pocket mone and now I have enough to buy you the book you wanted." You had a huge grin on your face.

"Thank....thank you. But you don´t have to buy me a book. I know you get only a little pocket money and you must have saved tgis over several weeks.

"But I want to. Please take it. When you smile I know it was worth it." You gave me these puppy eyes and I couldn´t deny your offer.

"Ok. Thank you." I gave you a bear hug and let you go after two or three minutes.

You bought me the book and we went to the park for a while after i had to go home and help with dinner.

"I see you tomorrow and thank you." You only nodded and I got inside.

I were greated by mother on the sofa. Tears rolled down her eyes and her make-up was all over her face. She told me that he had a fight with my dad again and he left in the car. She tried to call him a few times and apologize but he never picked up. After half an hour where I tried to calm my mum down we get a call and I picked up. At the other end were a police officer who told me that my father was in a car accident because he was drunk.

We quickly drove to the hospital and on the way I called you from the phone of my mother and told you everthing. When we arrived at the hospital you already stood at the front doors and waited for us.

We went inside and you hold my hand and when they told us that he had a OP and we should wait in an extra room you were by my side. After two hours  a doctor came and when he told us that my father died because he lost to much blood and his heart set out a few times after it didn´t worked anymore and they couldn´t do anything. You hugged me tight as loud sobs escaped my mouth and squezzed me.

"shhh....I´m here for you. You will never lose me.We can do it together I am here for you." O boy how wrong you were. Where are you right now? I need you but you aren´t here. You broke so much promises. But i´m nevertheless very thankful that you were there eight years ago and you were my light in the dark and with you I believed in the good things in the world.

This evening you slept next to me and you held me the whole time. I tried to be there for my mother but she didn´t want to here anything. She believed that it was her fault and she wanted to be alone. She wasn´t there for me and preffered to drown here worries and problems with alcohol. This was te first evening she was drunk as fuck and we heard a few screams and broken plates from her but we wasn´t brave enough to go downstairs. Some times you put our hands over my ears and shot the sounds out so I didn´t had to hear that and you told me sweet stories and after five hours I fell asleep along to your beautiful voice.

I didn´t go to school the next days and I knew you were bullied at school without me cause you were alone but you didn´t told me because ou didn´t want me to feel guilty. Every day you came around after school and helped me with homework and what we had done at school.

At the funeral you hold my hand and it was over really fast. The rest of the day we saw superhero movies and ate ice cream. I enjoyed your company and forgot about my dad time to time.

Thank you for being there when my mother wasn´t and every other either.

I still miss you.

Sincerely, your Brooke.