Memories (Ashton Irwin Ff)

Chapter thirteen - Piercing

Dear Ashton,

do you know how I feel? No probably not, but if you want to know, I feel like crap. I hate my life. I don´t want to live anymore. I´m just here and nobody needs me. Sure everybody is talking with me, but even when I´m with my family I feel alone and I just want to disappear. I gave up to think that you will write back one day and I don´t exactly know why I´m still writing letters to you. I think it is probably because I want you to know that you were my best friend and I loved you. Maybe someday you will read them and remember me with a smile on your face, but then I´m probably long gone. I can´t do this anymore, cutting and feeling done every day while pretending everything is fine. I just feel like writing a few more letters till I´ve said all the important things you have to know and then I will look what I do. This isn´t my last letter I hope.

The next picture is my belly button piercing which I still have, you know. I hadn´t took it out till that day and it looks a bit old. But there is a reason behind that. remember that day where we laying in my backyard and didn´t know what to do. I was really comfortable laying next to you, but you seemed to be very bored. Shifting every then and there and picking at the grass beside you, you began to speak after a while.

"Do you have any idea what we can do? I´m really bored,"  you were always bored and couldn´t lay somewhere in peace and just enjoy each others company at that time. "No," I sighed.

"Then let´s just wonder around and go into the city," you stood up and offered me your hand, which I gratefully took. We kept holding hands, while we were walking down town. It was normal for us. Everyone thought we were together, but we were only close friends, how you said. I really enjoyed hlding your hands, because I had some deeper feelings about you.

We walked about an hour until you saw a tattoo shop across the street. while dragging m over you asked me " didn´t you always wanted to have a belly button piercing?"

"Yes, of course. But I´m maybe a little bit young to do it without my parents permission," it was true, I dreamed of one since I were young but I thought I will have to wait until I´m 18.

"Come on, we can try it. That´s if you want?" you looked at me with a questioning smile and I couldn´t say no to that opportunity.

"Sure. Let´s go in." We entered the shop and a cool breath hit us. Everywhere were men in their early 40ths and I also spotted a young looking woman with tattoos all over her left arm and a few piercing in her face and a belly button piercing, you could see, because she was wearing a crop top.

"Hello! how can I help you?" a man with coloured tattoos on both of is arms and neck asked us with a kind smile.

"She wants to have a belly button piercing," Ashton told the man and he looked me up and down.

"Are you eighteen?" he asked and I was sure if i say no I would never get the piercing so i stuttered a "y-yes"

"Ok, i´ll believe you." I was sure he knew that I wasn´t but he doesn´t really cared. "Claire? You have customers."

Claire the woman wih tattoos on her left arm came over and looked us. " Hello, I´m Claire and who are you?"

"I´m Brooke and that´s Ashton," I replied and she gave us a warm smile.

"And who of you wants a piercing?"

"I want one. I want a belly button piercing," I answered quickly and she showed us some. there were some little and big ones and they were in all different colours. After a minute you pointed at one which was really cute. The piercing were simpel and not to big and it was the right one. But when I saw the price, I shock my head and wanted to look for another one.

"The piercing might be a little expensive but it fits perfectly to you and I´ll buy it for you," you said and signalised the woman to take it out of the box.

"No you can´t buy me something that it that expensive," I knew you hadn´t much money and you had to pay it from saved money.

"Sure I can buy you that and no argument," I sighed and gave in. I gave you a kiss on your cheek and a small blush creeped on your face.

The woman took it and lead us futher in to the shop in a special room. "You know the risks, right?" She asked me.

"Yeah," I really knew about the risks because I had actually made some research which I was gratefuly for.

"Ok. It will hurt for a short moment but then everything will be fine," she took out the needle and you took my hand and when I felt a stitch in my stomach I squeezed your hand really tight but you kept a encourangingly smile on your face.

But the pain were fast gone and i had a piercing. Claire informed me about the cleaning and some safety stuff in the frst few days and this things. And a few minutes later we were standing on the streets and I had a piercing. You buyed me that expensive piercing and you thoughs it looks beautiful on me so I kept it and didn´t take it out. My parents didn´t knew about it until I were long eigtheen and I accidently wore only a bikini in front of them. They did not approve it but they couldn´t do anything against it then.

It is something that I have with me everytime and it is from you. Sometimes it is a good thing but it is also a bad thing, you know.

Anyway, I have to go to work now.

I still miss you.

Yours sincerely, Brooke.