Not a Bestseller

Someone's Tiny Person Goes Berserk

When a book fails, it doesn't necessarily mean that the story behind it sucked. Usually, complaints about a series are the result of too many annoying characters. Most readers don't want to read about a person they hate.

Obviously, I haven't been irritating enough. I decided to devote a few sentences in which I attempt to put myself in some other people's point of view. Perhaps the perspective of other annoying characters will make you stop reading. I'll give you a short vacation from my tiny person.

Julia: Ben is such an idiot. I have a lot of money and won't tell him my secrets. He needs to get a life just like me. Maybe he can buy himself a life from my closet. I am free from him today. I'm so happy I don't know what to do with myself.

Austin: I can't believe that the sun was so shiny today. When I opened my eyes, I was sure things were going to be too terrible to pretend they were good. Then the yellow light of the sun met my face and reddened it worse into acne-nation. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Stuart: I'm pretty sure Ben is a devil trying to make me choke on my smoothie each morning. His curly hair reaches out to snatch my throat whenever he passes me and his eyes are like windows into the fiery depths of hell. I would know. I see that place whenever I close my eyes.

Kim: Tiny people are loud.

Willie:

Dr. White: Everyone has a light that needs to glow into the darkness and continue to widen. Yet, as the light shines brighter, the unknown's depth grows bigger than imaginable. Did I mention I'm brainy and smart and stuff?

Kyle: Your shoe's untied. Ha. Made you look.

Mom and Dad; Everybody who has ever known me or will know me or may meet me in the future: BEN IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

There. Your vacation is over. I pray this has been enough evidence to make you stop reading.

Wow, you are stubborn.

✎✎✎

I woke up to a shove on my arm. It was like that irritating sibling back at home who keeps poking you as you try to read this and find enjoyment somewhere. (You won't.) Even though the action doesn't cause pain on the monitor, it makes you want to throw yourself off a cliff. All of this annoyance seems to make it more fun for the poker.

I turned over. Kyle's face spread into a wide, infuriating grin.

"Geez, Ben, I forgot you're such a sound sleeper. For a minute there I could've sworn you were dead."

"What?"

I glanced at my clock. It was a Saturday, and I was conscious at the hour of nine o'clock AM.

Kyle had on his grey t-shirt and shredded jeans. His dark eyes were full of movement. Thump. Thump. Thump thump thump. I glanced at the ground to find his foot tapping at a rapid pace. Wait...

Was he seriously waiting for me to get up?

"Go away." I buried my face in my pillow. "Wake me up tomorrow."

Excuses. I needed a good excuse, but it was a Saturday. I don't talk to people on Saturdays. I use Saturdays to create secret YouTube accounts and leave hate comments. I give thumbs downs to dancing cat videos. I reread YA fiction. I don't leave the house, especially not with the ticking temper bomb that is Kyle Wood.

The bed tilted. "Oh, come on, Ben. I'm only here for the weekend. I figured we could, you know, go around town and...reminisce and stuff."

Remi-what?