Not a Bestseller

The Chapter You Have to Read Before You Can Get to the Good Stuff

Ben,

I was rather disheartened at your submission to this project. What I have is a delightful tale about a historical artifact. What I don't have are any sources, any factual evidence to back these claims, or an introductory paragraph.

If you want to write about a particular artifact in your town, present legitimate research. What is the history of the area? What problems do they represent? I have attached some links to help get you started.

I look forward to a revised submission.

~Mr. Randall

I stared at my computer mouse until it became part of my pupils. I imagined my teacher screaming, sucked into a portal, begging me to left-click and set him free. What class was this again? Who cared? I needed to learn about this dump of a town, or my parents would ship me off to military school.

After looking up chocolate chip waffle recipes, I tried Randall's links.

I eyed a date tied with newspaper photos, written by a man I swore I just saw in the obituaries.

Superhuman Pills, or Extreme Luck?

Wildwood Cowboys and Delcoph Wolves go head-to-head in the courtroom days after Wildwood, considered the season's underdogs, claimed victory in the basketball district finals. With the discovery of empty pill containers in the guest locker room, Delcoph files reports of the use of steroids in Wildwood High, pushing an unfair advantage in the climactic moments of the game. Indeed, Wildwood has proved infamous of drug possession in its past. Many plays proved "superhuman" with players jumping at "astounding heights."

It is only a matter of time before these drugged Cowboys are brought to justice and the Wolves howl supreme.

Drugs! Perfect!

I minimized the tab and snapped open a private browser. Drug issues. But the article was ancient. I needed current problems. I needed something to tie into my fountain.

The fountain had to be important, somehow.

The next link jumped to a Wikipedia page. My tiny person scouted the perimeter, begging me to jump off the cliff of words and into my eternal oblivion. The articles ranged from early scandals to the great oil war of a year I can't remember right now.

I scrolled for a halfway point and drilled into focus.

Delcoph is characterized by distinct class differences, with incomes either falling below the 30,000 or above the 110,000 marks. The lack of "middle class" has been the cause of much conflict in the past, with a certain "barrier" between upper- and lower-class town divisions.

The "upper" division has grown infamous, scandalous reputations over the years, with the presence of figures, such as Rex Peterson, stirring much controversy. This is primarily due to large corporations running most industries in the area. Small businesses are rare in the upper-division. The "lower" division has since grown in numbers, increasing the already-large poverty rate in the area. This side of town is negatively regarded for increased gang violence, drug deals, and pollution in the area.

Perhaps the most infamous scandal between divisions was the arrest of Johnny Peterson, father to Mayor Rex Peterson. J. Peterson, having been linked with one of the biggest cartels of the 21st century, utilized possession of illegal substances to drain poor homes and fill rich pockets. R. Peterson denies any knowledge. See Great Peterson Drug Cartel Scandal here.

I was right. This wasn't any better than what I could make up.

Screw the fountain. I threw in every issue I could find: class division, drugs, gangs, drugs, violence, drugs. When I wrote something about cartel scandals, I left it vague. God forbid I learn something new.