Not a Bestseller

Now or Never

It was time to buckle down and write my paper. I won't bore you with ten pages about Delcoph's scandalous reputation. I remember something about "Delcoph being put on the map after a scandal involving illegal substance trade between classes" (insert source here to sound smart). Addiction grew and people drained their wallets, so money meant for safe energy surfaces was redirected to rehabilition programs. This made air pollution suck. Wildwood High was right next to a lot of busted dealers, which is why Delcoph High students called them "crackheads." 

I submitted the paper with an apology for turning it in so late. 

***

I'd hoped that I wouldn't find her. But the little brunette was in front of the first set of grey lockers I laid eyes on. When I saw her, I charged, for better or worse. Probably worse. Like down in the dumps, I was digging my own grave, worse than worst.

I know. You want to know what this conversation was like. You need to take in my newfound insanity. You're waiting for me to stop stalling and tell you what happened.

I forget this is supposed to be a non-book. I've gotta be careful before I wind up sounding like an author.

Whatever. It's not like anyone's reading it anyway.

"HEY!" I can't believe I just said that. What was I thin- "Hey!"

Well crap.

Coming off a little strong there? Tiny Person yanked on the cell bars. You need me. 

Her face pulled down at the corners. "What!?"

Good question. What was I doing here again? I didn't notice the crowd of friends that had gathered. All I saw was her.

"Ben? I got your letter. You don't have to yell."

"Oh. Good. Sorry."

"What's this about?"

My hands fell into my hoodlum sweatshirt pockets. "I think you know."

Her aura changed like a snap of a finger. "Could you please...just go? I don't-"

"No."

"Ben, I've gotta-"

"Now you're busy? What happened to talking?"

She was talking down to me. Which shouldn't be possible since Julia's like five foot four or something. Despite disabling Tiny Person, anger, hostility, brokenness, and chaos grabbed me by the wheel and took a turn for the explosives.

Her words struck the déjà vu chord. "I don't know what your problem is, but-"

"My problem?"

"Yes, your problem. All I did was-"

"Do you know how hard it is for someone like me to feel this way about someone and admit it?" I cut her off. "Do you have any idea how impossible it seems? How impossible it should be?"

Great, I sounded like her now.

"Ben, I was trying to explain how-"

Odd laughter filled my throat. "And that's the problem, isn't it? I'm too stupid to understand anything. Now that I finally do, you've decided it's too late."

"I never-"

I shook her hand off. "You...go on with all this bull-crap that there's nothing wrong with me, but if you really believed that you would've had the common decency to accept that my feelings for you are real." She opened her mouth again. My voice broke. "I never expected a yes."